It's Elementary

My grandson invited me to come to his school and have lunch with him. It was something like 'grandparents day' but you didn't have to be a grandparent. Combined with a book fair, I think it may have had ulterior motives to get us to purchase books, which I did.

I felt like a giant going through the lunch line and then sitting at tables and chairs that were designed for their regular occupants.

Before long it was time to bid farewell and head back to the office. First, a quick stop at the Boy's Room. This room also designed for the shorter people. What I found interesting though is that the urinals were automatic flush. And even though the urinals were lower to the ground, the automatic eye would shoot out above the heads of most of its users. So....they would apparently go for long periods of time until an adult came by. And in this school, the adult males were few.

The automatic eye was good intentioned, but maybe not thought through before implementation. I guess the only response is that...It's elementary my dear Watson.

Are We There Yet?

I remember asking this as a kid and answering it as a parent. Although kids seem to ask it more often, even we as adults want to know how much longer it will be until we reach our destination.

Not that long ago, an atlas of the country (8 x 14 with 50+ pages) was needed for long trips. That or a number of individual state maps that could be obtained ahead of time from state tourism offices, on the road from state information kiosks on major routes or purchased from gas stations. If you were fortunate enough to belong to AAA (American Automobile Association) you could get an individualized travel booklet with the sections of the roads you would be taking highlighted. That was then.

These days the GPS (Global Positioning System) (approximately 3 x 5) has the entire United States road system in it and will personalize your road trip based upon your desire for fastest, shortest, avoid tolls etc requirements. In addition, it can tell you nearby points of interest like eating establishments, gas stations, shopping and a number of other helpful locations.

In the days of maps us good drivers could answer the question "Are we there yet?" by giving you an approximate distance we still had to go and approximately how long it might take to get there. With the GPS, the answer to "Are we there yet?" is a little more precise giving you an exact time in minutes and distance in 10ths of a mile of which you have left to go. It is constantly updating these values as you travel.

One must be careful though and use some human intellect rather than accepting the automated response all the time. I think that it's always good practice to first review where it's taking you before you head off following it's voice guided directions.

Recently I pulled off of a main highway on to a dirt side road, about a cars length, to program in my destination. It politely asked if I wished to avoid dirt roads. I responded yes, to which it replied that I couldn't get there from where I was at...I was on a dirt road and in order to go anywhere, I had to be willing to take a dirt road.

Are we there yet? Well, we've certainly come a long way, but I wager that we will be making further advancements in this area. Maybe by the time my grandchildren are answering the age old question their children pose, we will have autopilot for our vehicles which will verbally respond.

Cursed Coupon

It was time for lunch. The possibilities numerous. A coupon beckoned me. The Golden Arches whispered "you'll love it". The coupon was for medium drink & fries free with a Angus 1/3 lb burger. What was I thinking? Normally I would drink water. If I had fries, they would have been small rather than medium. I would have split the 1/3 pounder with my lovely wife. I clearly didn't think through this prior to my decision to go with the cursed coupon.

There I stood, moments away from placing my order. A decision had to be made. Would it be Deluxe, Bacon & Cheese or Mushroom & Swiss. Fortunately I chose the Deluxe not realizing that the other two were the only menu items with more calories than the Deluxe which I ordered.

As I consumed the 1130 calories I realized that it would take 5 hours of walking to counter act that caloric intake and that even a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese was less calories than the sandwich I chose. Oh cursed coupon.

It would have been better for me to have spent my money on salad and cursed the coupon.

Three Lights They're Out

I'll admit I'm a skeptic when it comes to Global Warming/Global Climate Change which ever it is you want to call it. I'm even more of a skeptic when it comes to our causing it. Nevertheless it's my position that we should do what we can and be kind to the environment.

This past summer we replaced a light fixture in our bathroom. The previous one had six incandescent bulbs. The new fixture had a place for four bulbs. So, I buy CFL mini-spiral bulbs to put into it. (This is what we are supposed to be doing...right? At the present time, they are forcing consumers in parts of Europe to use CFLs) They claim that the bulbs will last 7 years each. These bulbs cost 3-4 times more than the incandescent bulbs. Now, in my experience, the incandescent bulbs last a long time so I'm going to want the 7 years touted by the manufacturer. I figure that if the bulb lasts 7 years, then I can afford the hassle of the 'proper disposal' of the bulbs over just throwing them in the trash. Heaven forbid if you break one, you can't just sweep or vaccum it up. Broken bulb cleanup instructions.

It's been 6 months and three of the CFLs have failed. I gave it a shot. I tried to do "the right thing". I'm applying the "three strikes you're out" logic and for now, it appears that I'm going to go back to the incandescents.

Best Wishes for Christmas

For years an old steamer trunk has sat in my basement, the lock locked and the key missing. Online I found that Stevens Antique Trunks had a key for the trunk. It arrived today in the mail.

Upon opening the trunk there was Barb's wedding dress and various memorabilia among which was the Christmas card my mom and dad sent out my first Christmas. A most appropriate find for this time of year.

Wishing you the best this Christmas and the coming year.

Harold

Speed Up, You're Moving Too Slow

Back in the 70s Simon and Garfunkul sang

Slow down, you move too fast

Got to make the mornin' last

Just kicken' down the cobble-stones

Lookin' for fun, and feelin' groovy

That was when hippies were in abundance. My hair was long. I wore bib overalls. I was probably considered a hippie. I even hitch hiked from Indiana to Vermont and camped out in on a mountain top for a week.

Forty years later life has changed. I now live in the suburbs and daily commute to work. This past summer the state has improved a two mile stretch of highway turning it from two lanes into four. Every morning I get on that highway and am singing to myself.

Speed up, you move too slow

Got to make that gas guzzler go.

I'm not advocating speeding, I just wish they would go the speed limit. Instead of going fifty, they go forty. Instead of driving in the right hand lane, they drive in the left lane. It's driving me crazy! This has become one of my pet peeves. So, if' you find yourself driving down Indiana 23 between Main St and Brick Road, go fifty, or get in the right lane.

Let There Be Light

In the days before Thanksgiving the voice said "Let there be lights." But I reasoned that it was too soon for lights. And the voice said "The weather is mild. Let there be lights." But I did not listen to the voice.

The days of Thanksgiving passed and it was cold. Finally the sun shone and I assembled the lights. I plugged in the first strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the second strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the third strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I reasoned that something must be wrong with the source that illuminated the light. But there was power in the source.

I had heard of a Keeper of Light and sought it out. I searched, but Lowe I found not the Keeper of the Light. I Targeted my search and behold, the Keeper of the Light was found.

The Keeper of the Light commanded the lights and they awoke, slowly. Strand by strand, group by group they awoke. I then strung the lights in the heaven's. (Ok, maybe not in the heavens, but to the roof tops.) I applied power from the source and said "Let there be light.", and there was light, some light. I climbed to the heavens with the Keeper of the Light and reminded the light from where the power came. And behold, there was light.

The sun rose. The day passed. The darkness came. The lights returned...except now black holes existed in the heavens and the light could not escape from those areas which occupied the lowest of the sky and the highest of heights.

I will summon courage, climb to the highest of heights and with the Keeper of the Light vanquish the black holes. There will be light.