Sunday, February 24, 2008

Take It For A Spin

I was in Meijer's last week and saw that powered toothbrushes by Crest were 50% off. They are called SpinBrush and normally selling for $5 and some change. So I picked up a couple of them. One was the ClassicClean and the other Slim. The ClassicClean has a round brush on the end that spins, but Slim looks like a normal brush that goes back and forth. Classic takes two batteries and Slim 1.

After I get home, I read the information included with the brush.
* It has a replaceable brush head. Cool.
* Batteries are replaceable. Cool.
* After every use, remove brush head and rinse thoroughly. Wait a minute. Why can't I just leave the brush head on and rinse thoroughly?
* Due to normal wear, it is recommended that the toothbrush be fully replaced after three months of use. Wait a minute. Replace the entire toothbrush in three months? Then why does it even have replaceable batteries? I'm not going to wear the batteries out that quick am I. Oh, wait, that's for the brush that doesn't have the replaceable brush head. Do you replace your regular toothbrush every three months? I don't. The dentist gives me one every six months, so I just use mine till I get a new one.

What I've found out since I've purchased them.
* I went back to purchase another Slim and almost all the Crest SpinBrushes were gone. It's like they were liquidating stock. I guess when you are liquidating you put stuff on sale for 50% off.
* The SpinBrush of Crest has been sold to Church & Dwight.
* It was Dr. Johns Products that developed the spinbrush not Crest.
* The round bristle on the end doesn't really spin. It "oscillates back and forth".

I'm so disillusioned I may just go back to my brush brush now that I've taken the spinbrush for a spin.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I Want To Get Physical

You would think that you might be able to tell something about the job based on the Physical Requirements section of a job posting.

Physical Requirements:
Stronger than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Faster than a speeding bullet.

Those are pretty straightforward physical requirements. But what about the following that was recently posted with a job posting?

Sits, listens, sees and uses hands to grasp, handle or feel 50 to over 75% of the time.
Pulling, pushing, walking, carrying and talking are required up to 50% of the time.
Must be able to lift 0 pounds frequently and up to 40 pounds up to 25% of the time.
Must possess close, clear vision at 20 inches or less, ability to see and discern colors, peripheral vision and depth perception.

So, does the "uses hands to grasp, handle or feel" belong directly with the 50-75% of the time? I might want to know first what I'm grasping, handling or feeling before I commit to this job.

From the description, it seems that I'll be sitting, listening and feeling something half the time and the other half of the time I'll be pushing it, pulling it and talking to it. Maybe it's a parent to you, but it's not apparent to me.

And what's up with the ability to lift 0 pounds frequently? Anyone not able to do that?

Maybe it's the fault of government and regulations that require us to boilerplate our job descriptions so that our butts are covered if someone decides to stick it to us. But really, wouldn't the following be more helpful?

The ability to operate in a normal office environment. On occasion must be able to lift items weighing up to 40 pounds.

Then again, that's not as entertaining.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Birdie, birdie in the sky

Every time there is a bird in a direct vertical relationship to me this poem comes to mind.

Birdie, birdie in the sky.
Dropped some white stuff in my eye.
I don't cuss. I don't cry.
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

The other day as I left the office to meet some previous co-workers for lunch I heard a flock of birds chirping. A little unusual for this time of year I thought. I looked up and ahead aways and there was what looked like a scene from "Birds" right above the sidewalk that I was headed down.

I wondered about the wisdom of walking under all those birds but thought, "they're just resting. It's when they take off that things begin to fly." As long as I didn't rouse them, I should be fine.

As I passed underneath, I felt something hit the top of my head. It wasn't an acorn. Something more in the form of liquid I thought. I didn't put my hand up there to rub it through the wet spot. What if it was bird poop? I trusted though that perhaps it was melting snow or something from the tree. It didn't feel thick enough to be bird poop.

Could you imagine though going to lunch with old friends with bird poop on your head? The waitress glancing occasionally at the top of your head. Then back to the office with your fellow workers.

That night as I brushed my teeth Barb asked, "what's that white stuff in your hair?"

Thursday, February 7, 2008

House, A Rest?

I'm now ending what has essentially been four weeks of "house arrest" and the irony is that the crime was committed against me. For the last four weeks it's like I've had an ankle bracelet that would notify the authorities if I walked any further than the mailbox. There were times early on I wouldn't even venture that far. Toward the end of the sentence I did receive some reprieve and was allowed to go out to a restaurant for a meal, chaperoned of course.

For most of this time, I have worked from home. Ah, the benefits of being in Information Technology and having a high speed internet connection at home. Many of you probably think that working from home would provide me a great opportunity for rest and major benefits. Yeah, I guess so. It certainly saved on the time I would spend getting ready for work. I could sleep in longer since I didn't have a 15 minute commute to work. I still showered, shaved and dressed for work. It was nice having a fully stocked kitchen nearby for a snack or lunch. The down side is that I didn't take up as much time in breaks. Usually at work, I would take a morning break. Not so here at home. I didn't have the 15 minute commute home from work, but that meant that I should probably begin preparing the dinner meal. So, working from home wasn't a big rest from work. It was an enjoyable experience under the circumstances but I am looking forward to getting back to a normal work environment.

Endnote: We have eliminated one of the usual suspects. Mon Bureau has been cleared of any involvement in my attack.