It's Valentine's Day. I'm a man.

Note:As I begin consideration of returning to blogging, I found this unpublished post.  I have decided to post it now.

It's February 14th, Valentine's Day. The blowing snow last night has shut the college down for the morning. The extra hour in bed felt refreshing. Barb had some finishing touches to make on the goodies she made the previous evening for the children/grand-children. There was a few things though that needed to be picked up from the store before she could finish. She handed me a list (If I don't have a list, I get to the store and wonder what it was I came to get) and had me add red food coloring to it before I left. I got to the store and pulled out the list. Freezer bags, XXX sugar, sandwich bags .... wait a minute. XXX sugar? Was this a secret code to me on this special day? Was the list just a dupe to get me out of the house only to surprise me when I returned? I reel in my out of control mind and head up and down the aisles looking for the items on my list. Freezer bags, sandwich bags, food coloring; I knew where to find all these items. But what about "adult sugar"? Maybe I should ask someone ... Nah. I'm a man. I should be able to find it on my own. Just find the sugar and then look around. Hmmmmm. Is 10-X sugar the same as XXX sugar? Maybe I should call Barb and check ... Nah. I'm a man. I can make the decision on my own. If XXX is good, then XXXXXXXXXX must be even better. Another successful trip to the grocery without needing to call home for clarification.

Three Lights They're Out

I'll admit I'm a skeptic when it comes to Global Warming/Global Climate Change which ever it is you want to call it. I'm even more of a skeptic when it comes to our causing it. Nevertheless it's my position that we should do what we can and be kind to the environment.

This past summer we replaced a light fixture in our bathroom. The previous one had six incandescent bulbs. The new fixture had a place for four bulbs. So, I buy CFL mini-spiral bulbs to put into it. (This is what we are supposed to be doing...right? At the present time, they are forcing consumers in parts of Europe to use CFLs) They claim that the bulbs will last 7 years each. These bulbs cost 3-4 times more than the incandescent bulbs. Now, in my experience, the incandescent bulbs last a long time so I'm going to want the 7 years touted by the manufacturer. I figure that if the bulb lasts 7 years, then I can afford the hassle of the 'proper disposal' of the bulbs over just throwing them in the trash. Heaven forbid if you break one, you can't just sweep or vaccum it up. Broken bulb cleanup instructions.

It's been 6 months and three of the CFLs have failed. I gave it a shot. I tried to do "the right thing". I'm applying the "three strikes you're out" logic and for now, it appears that I'm going to go back to the incandescents.

Let There Be Light

In the days before Thanksgiving the voice said "Let there be lights." But I reasoned that it was too soon for lights. And the voice said "The weather is mild. Let there be lights." But I did not listen to the voice.

The days of Thanksgiving passed and it was cold. Finally the sun shone and I assembled the lights. I plugged in the first strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the second strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the third strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I reasoned that something must be wrong with the source that illuminated the light. But there was power in the source.

I had heard of a Keeper of Light and sought it out. I searched, but Lowe I found not the Keeper of the Light. I Targeted my search and behold, the Keeper of the Light was found.

The Keeper of the Light commanded the lights and they awoke, slowly. Strand by strand, group by group they awoke. I then strung the lights in the heaven's. (Ok, maybe not in the heavens, but to the roof tops.) I applied power from the source and said "Let there be light.", and there was light, some light. I climbed to the heavens with the Keeper of the Light and reminded the light from where the power came. And behold, there was light.

The sun rose. The day passed. The darkness came. The lights returned...except now black holes existed in the heavens and the light could not escape from those areas which occupied the lowest of the sky and the highest of heights.

I will summon courage, climb to the highest of heights and with the Keeper of the Light vanquish the black holes. There will be light.

Walk This Way

It's been 150 days since Wii Fit has been my fitness coach. When I first started he would say, "That's obese", when I would step on the balance board which measures my weight, BMI (Body Mass Index based on weight and height) and my COB (Center of Balance). Wii would assist me by asking me what my goal in weight loss was and how long I wanted to achieve that goal. I started out simple and told it that I wanted to loose 1 lb. The minimum time frame to reach a goal is 2 weeks. That seems to have worked for me. Since I've started I've lost 12 lbs and now when I step on the balance board it says "That's Overweight".

In addition to performing the weight, BMI and COB measurements, it selects two other random tests to perform. They can be steadiness, agility, single leg balance or checking something or other in regards to walking. It's this last test that I find strange. I have to stand on the balance board which is approximately 1 ft x 2 ft. Then it tells me to walk as I normally would walk. I have no idea how I'm supposed to walk normally on a 1 x 2 ft balance board.

In The Bag

I'm asking myself why I feel it necessary to save and re-use plastic baggies. You know, the kind you put your sandwich in when you're packing your lunch.

The other day I found myself washing them to make them suitable for re-use. Barb has rightly pointed out that they are inexpensive and meant for one use. You probably haven't ever washed a baggie. They are not easy to wash. I'm not sure they get really clean.

So why do I hang on to them? It could be that I'm a miser and detest spending money. It could be that I'm concerned about the environment and want as few of these baggies floating around landfills. I'm not really sure what drives this quirk.

From this point forward I vow never to re-use baggies...uh, I vow never to wash them to make them suitable for re-use. If their used for something like...pretzels where the item itself does not remain with the baggie, I may re-use it. If what was in the bag still has it's DNA in the bag, it's gone.

Beer To Diet For?

Years ago I discovered a beverage out east not normally found in the midwest, Birch Beer. For those of you who might be concerned about my decline into alcoholism, not to worry. Birch Beer is similar to Root Beer. Many claim it tastes just like Root Beer. While it may be similar, there is a distinct difference. I've grown a liking for the beverage and when traveling out east, I attempt to purchase a few liters to bring back and enjoy here at home. My recent trip to Vermont was no exception. While there I went to the local grocery store with my cousin who, living in Vermont, was unfamiliar with Birch Beer. I wonder what beverages that are sold locally that are not sold in other geographic locations that I am unfamiliar with.

We found the soda aisle and wandered up and down it not spotting the desired Beer. Finally I spotted it and purchased three liters. Once back at my cousins, I chilled one for consumption later on. The other two were packed away for transportation back to Indiana.

Back in Indiana the Birch Beer was unpacked and as I was placing a liter in to the fridge, I noticed that the word Diet was on the bottle. Arrrggghhhh. One does not choose 'diet' on items that he considers an indulgence. Well, the bottle is still chilling waiting for that special moment when it will be poured into a glass and savored. The question is whether the diet version will live up to my expectations for an indulgence.

Birch Beer has been infrequently found in some local stores as a specialty soda with a price tag to match. It is also available in Shipshewana at Yoder's Red Barn Shoppes also at an price twice that out east.

The Case of the Missing Camera:Closed

It was back in October of 2008 when Kodak turned up missing. A report of the missing camera can be found in the December 2008 post The Case of the Missing Camera. What follows is the resolution of that case.

On December 27th 2008 at 4:00pm, Harold and Barb entered the airport terminal at South Bend Regional Airport to board a plane for Sanford FL. Their departing flight had been delayed and they were informed to check back at the desk at 8:00pm. Their permanent residence being 20 minutes from the airport, they decided to pass the time at home. While at home Harold watched movies while Barb re-arranged the storage room.

It was during her re-arranging that she noticed that Harold's saddle bag for his bike seemed a little heavier than normal. Barb investigated and found the camera that had been missing for two months inside. When confronted with the location that the camera was found, Harold could not recall how Kodak would have come to be located in the saddle bags which were now in the basement.

Kodak was now packed and accompanied the Rodgers' to FL. Once in FL batteries for Kodak were purchased and it was put to use. It was noticed that Kodak was not it's old self. Even with new batteries, Kodak would not always turn on. Sometimes it took numerous tries and sometimes so many that we just gave up.

With this new information the "Missing Camera Bureau" is concluding that Kodak made it's way from top of the dresser in the first floor bedroom into the bike saddlebags in the storage room in the basement so that it could slip on into the afterlife of cameras. Many will be skeptical that the camera would be able to transport itself off the dresser, down the hall, open a closed door to the basement, down the stairs, around a corner, through another closed door, up on a shelf, unzip a saddlebag climb in and zip the bag back up. Yet, there is no other logical conclusion.

Diet Is The First To Go

You're probably thinking that I made a New Year's Resolution to diet among other resolutions and that I have now abandon my diet. Wrong.

I've discovered that diet pop freezes before other pop and water. A few days ago I pulled into the garage to find our mini-fridge door open. Upon closer examination I discover an exploding diet sprite had blown the door open sending ice shards throughout the immediate vicinity. It actually ripped the can open. Due to the extreme cold it was fairly easy to clean up since it appeared that the contents were never in liquid form outside the can.

I removed all the other Sprite Zero cans not wanting a repeat. I unplugged the mini-fridge and left the other pop and water in there thinking that the inside would not get as cold as the outside and that the other liquids would be safe. Wrong.

This morning about 7:00 as I lay in bed I heard a sound, not unlike something falling off a shelf somewhere. I ignored it and continued my rest. Later that morning I was informed that there was a mess to clean up in the garage. This time two, not one but two, Diet Cokes exploded, again blowing the door open. The car, being parked in the garage at the time, had the pleasure of experiencing it's first Diet Coke. The mess this time was more extensive and looked like the proverbial excrement had hit the fan. The water was also frozen and other soft drinks were very close but still, it was the diet that was first to go.

Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Told You So

In October of 2007 I had a post Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss where I suggested that I could loose weight simply by sleeping. Followed up by Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Dream On where I expounded further on my theory.

Then in January of 2008 I offered personal evidence in the post Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Reality.

And now in the January 2008 Reader's Digest article "13 Things You Never Knew About Your Weight" they give us "fascinating facts behind the new fat-busting science". Fact 6 "Sleep More, Lose More". The article references Louis Aronne MD and past president of the Obesity Society as well as University of Chicago researchers. The conclusion..."sleep may be the cheapest and easiest obesity treatment there is."

Told you so.

The Case of the Missing Camera

It was Saturday October 25th when Kodak was last seen. Harold had taken him to Schlafzimmer where he could re-charge. Kodak was going to have a gig the following day and wanted to be fresh and full of energy. Harold had given him a couple of Double A's to hold him till the next morning when he would get a fully re-charged set. There by the dresser was the last time Harold remembers seeing Kodak.

The next morning things were a little hectic and Harold decided not to take Kodak to the gig that was planned. Later Harold retrieved the set of Double A's that he was going to give Kodak for the gig. But Kodak was no where to be found. Since Kodak was dependent on others for transportation, he couldn't have gone far on his own. There have been numerous searches in the immediate area where he was last seen but with no avail. Kodak's normal hangout was even searched thinking that perhaps someone may have returned him there. It was empty. It's unsure whether Kodak has taken any sensitive data with him. He does have identification on him, but it may not be easy to find and he won't give it up willingly. It will need to be forced from him.

In the six weeks since he's been missing, his companionship has been noticeably absent. He was able to show us things about ourselves that we enjoyed. We don't suspect any foul play, but who knows.

Kodak, if you're out there and reading this, we want you to know we miss you. Please come home. Christmas without you just won't be the same.

Over Medicated

Over Thanksgiving I started coming down with a cold, at least that's what the symptoms seem to be. So I start taking vitamin C, Zycam and green tea. I thought that I had dealt it a decent blow.

Saturday I picked up some Zinc lozenges and some menthol cough drops. The Zinc to reduce the effects of the cold and the cough drops to hopefully to help clear my sinuses or as the packaging says "cool nasal passages". I popped a Zinc in and then afterward a cough drop. Shortly thereafter I began reading the packaging for the cough drops.

Directions
Adults and children 5 years and over: Dissolve 1 drop slowly in the mouth. Repeat every two hours as needed.

I have to confess. I did not wait two hours for my next dosage. In a two hour period, I may have taken anywhere from 3 to 4 cough drops.

It's now a few days later and the cold, if that's really what it is, seems to be dealing me a decent blow.

It'll be a cold day in ...

It'll be a cold day in Granger when Harold get's around to replacing his sliding patio door. He knew in the spring that he probably should get it replaced. There was no major hurry though. By the time summer arrived, he was concerned about the heat. (Looking back, that probably would have been a better choice of year.) So he procrastinated till the fall. Late fall. It was October when he finally connected with a friend who sells windows and doors to suppliers. At the same time he connected with an individual to do the work. It was late October when he actually ordered the door. The initial estimate on the door arrival was two weeks. After a week a followup call revealed that it would be yet another week before the door arrived. As the weekend approached, the forecast continued to drop. The actual day of the door replacement, it was -4°C.

The door is now in. Fortunately the interior of the house didn't get any colder than 16°C while the work was being done.

There were some stickers on the window. I removed them. Then I opened up the warranty materials and find this.


Now really! Do they expect me to leave the stickers on the door windows? Did I void the warranty? Maybe if I pull them out of the trash and stick them back on the windows no one will know.

Slice of Life

Barb turned 55 on Sunday. In preparation for her birthday dinner I was preparing ingredients for a salad. Radishes go good in a salad particularly if they are sliced thin. The best way to slice veggies thin is to use one of those Pampered Chef "Ultimate Mandoline" thingy where you slide the vegetable back and forth on it as it slices it. The one that has imprinted on it's plastic surface "Always use food holder to hold items being grated or sliced." Have you ever tried to use the holder with a radish? It's so much easier if you use your hand knowing that you will stop before...OUCH! If I were a cussin' man, this is where it would have occurred. I sliced the end of my thumb. I didn't cut it, I sliced it exposing what I believe were nerve endings. Why else would it hurt when I put it under running water? Well, that was the first radish. I found a way to do the second radish using the food holder. Now, I'm learning how to do things without using my right thumb.

My Two (many) Scents

Scent 1 - I step in the shower and lather up with soap.
Scent 2 - Shampoo my hair.
Scent 3 - Put on deodorant
Scent 4 - Shaving cream
Scent 5 - Hairspray
Scent 6 - Cologne

It would be nice to not have so many competing scents to deal with.

The Smell Of War

The king decided that he had little choice left but to enlist the services of Conibear The Mighty. He stationed Conibear at the entrance to the tunnel that Chuck of the Wood had made with the orders to kill anyone who dared pass in or out of the tunnel. It saddened the king that it had come to this.

Before long the report came to the king that Conibear had followed the kings orders. The king went to the southern border to verify that the report was true. The king found there the lifeless body not of Chuck of the Wood, but of his wife, Charlene of the Wood. The king was told by his advisor's that he should not release the services of Conibear and that Chuck of the Wood would likely come to the tunnel before long.

The war on the southern border seemed to be increasing. The king rested uneasy but knew that he could not back down or his kingdom would be over run. Why, later the same day that Conibear had fulfilled the kings orders, three of the enemy "of the Wood" had been seen in neighboring kingdoms.

As the morning sun prepared to rise on the kingdom, the king woke in his bed to the smell of war. He feared that another contingent had joined forces with Chuck of the Wood to lay siege to the kingdom. The king dressed as a pauper and journeyed to the southern border. On leaving the castle the smell of war was no longer in the air...until the king approached the border.

There from a distance he could see Conibear with another enemy in his clutches all but lifeless. The king knew that he must let Conibear finish the task and that any interference by the king could lead to dastardly consequences. Later that day, a coded message came to the king. "The kitty is dead". As the sun traversed the western sky, the king himself oversaw the burial of the one who had put up such a stink in battle with Conibear. The king ordered the tunnel filled and retired the services of Conibear.

May the dead rest in peace and their grave be un-desecrated. May there be peace on the southern border.


Thus it is written in the allegories of our leader.

All Four One

It had been quiet in the kingdom of Heir-Olde for some time before the king noticed an intruder into the kingdom. The intruder was well adorned and quick on his feet. He on more than one occasion had peered through the big glass wall into the kings castle. This Munksketeer was soon to experience the wrath of the king. The king knew that a weakness of a Munksketeer was a certain delicacy. So he arranged to entrap him leading to certain death. What the king did not know was that the Munksketeers had a motto, "One for all and all for one". This though worked for his advantage, for not only was the intruder ensnared in his trap, three others as well. This pleased the king.

There had been During this same time, another attack on his kingdom was being waged. Chuck of the Wood had positioned himself just out side the border of the kingdom and had dug tunnels. The king feared that these tunnels would lead to his kingdom so he ordered that the 4 Munksketeers executioned be taken to the opening of this tunnel of Chuck of the Wood and placed there as a warning. The king fears though that Chuck of the Wood will not be deterred until war is waged and then enemy vanquished. A call is being sent out for one who will slay Chuck of the Wood. Who will come forth and take on this Whistlepig?

Thus it is recorded in the allegories of our leader.

Strawberry fields forev....

I was munching on some All-Bran Strawberry Medley cereal (Crunchy bran flakes & squares with granola clusters & real strawberries) and decided to read the box to pass the time. I'm sure that we all are familiar with the fact that the ingredients start with the highest percentage and then work their way down. So it's not surprising to see Whole grain wheat, Wheat Bran and sugar as the 1st three ingredients. The fourth item was a Berry flavored oat cluster which was contained "Strawberry flavored apples". Coming in number seven was the Freeze Dried Strawberries. I guess I was a little surprised to find the "Strawberry flavored apples" higher in the ingredient list than the strawberries themselves. I'm not even sure why they couldn't have used actual freeze dried strawberries in the Berry Flavored Oat Cluster instead of apples flavored to taste like strawberries.

It's amazing what you find out about the food you eat when you read the ingredients.

Nine Moles Mine

It was 1850. Harold had traveled west to California where he would make his fortune in the Gold Rush. A gold vein had been struck and his mining ventures begun. The name of the mine would be Nine Moles Mine...oops. Wrong story.

The kingdom of Heir-olde was peaceful and plenty abounded. All who lived there had no want. But there were those who sought to destroy the kingdom and scar it. They sent moles there to spy out the kingdom. The moles would fill themselves on it's bounty and then return to send others there to ravage it. The king quickly tired of this invasion and posted a sentry in the south east region. The sentry's orders were to capture and kill those that would enter unlawfully there. Occasionally a mole would be captured and the king would preside over a quick trial where the mole had the opportunity to speak in his defense. Non were able to convince the king that their lives should be spared. It particularly irritated the king when a mole would escape the sentry. As the moles were executed, their remains were sent back across the border, but this did not stop them from coming. In this season the king proclaimed across the land "Nine Moles Mine, continue if you dare to spy out my land but be assured that your life will be required."

Thus it is recorded in the allegories of our leader.

Take It For A Spin

I was in Meijer's last week and saw that powered toothbrushes by Crest were 50% off. They are called SpinBrush and normally selling for $5 and some change. So I picked up a couple of them. One was the ClassicClean and the other Slim. The ClassicClean has a round brush on the end that spins, but Slim looks like a normal brush that goes back and forth. Classic takes two batteries and Slim 1.

After I get home, I read the information included with the brush.
* It has a replaceable brush head. Cool.
* Batteries are replaceable. Cool.
* After every use, remove brush head and rinse thoroughly. Wait a minute. Why can't I just leave the brush head on and rinse thoroughly?
* Due to normal wear, it is recommended that the toothbrush be fully replaced after three months of use. Wait a minute. Replace the entire toothbrush in three months? Then why does it even have replaceable batteries? I'm not going to wear the batteries out that quick am I. Oh, wait, that's for the brush that doesn't have the replaceable brush head. Do you replace your regular toothbrush every three months? I don't. The dentist gives me one every six months, so I just use mine till I get a new one.

What I've found out since I've purchased them.
* I went back to purchase another Slim and almost all the Crest SpinBrushes were gone. It's like they were liquidating stock. I guess when you are liquidating you put stuff on sale for 50% off.
* The SpinBrush of Crest has been sold to Church & Dwight.
* It was Dr. Johns Products that developed the spinbrush not Crest.
* The round bristle on the end doesn't really spin. It "oscillates back and forth".

I'm so disillusioned I may just go back to my brush brush now that I've taken the spinbrush for a spin.

House, A Rest?

I'm now ending what has essentially been four weeks of "house arrest" and the irony is that the crime was committed against me. For the last four weeks it's like I've had an ankle bracelet that would notify the authorities if I walked any further than the mailbox. There were times early on I wouldn't even venture that far. Toward the end of the sentence I did receive some reprieve and was allowed to go out to a restaurant for a meal, chaperoned of course.

For most of this time, I have worked from home. Ah, the benefits of being in Information Technology and having a high speed internet connection at home. Many of you probably think that working from home would provide me a great opportunity for rest and major benefits. Yeah, I guess so. It certainly saved on the time I would spend getting ready for work. I could sleep in longer since I didn't have a 15 minute commute to work. I still showered, shaved and dressed for work. It was nice having a fully stocked kitchen nearby for a snack or lunch. The down side is that I didn't take up as much time in breaks. Usually at work, I would take a morning break. Not so here at home. I didn't have the 15 minute commute home from work, but that meant that I should probably begin preparing the dinner meal. So, working from home wasn't a big rest from work. It was an enjoyable experience under the circumstances but I am looking forward to getting back to a normal work environment.

Endnote: We have eliminated one of the usual suspects. Mon Bureau has been cleared of any involvement in my attack.