My Neighborhood

Petite Aria

2010-08-13T07:25:00.004-04:00

Family members assembled for the concert that was in progress. It was gentle moving but increasing in intensity. Every few minutes all music stopped except for the duet of Josh and Andrea which had a quiet encouraging theme. The patriarchs of the family retreated to the area outside the auditorium. As they talked word came that the concert had concluded with a petite Aria.

Barb and I are proud to introduce to you our sixth grandchild Aria Leryn, weighing in at 5 lbs 9 oz.

Pizza with Piazza

2010-07-12T21:09:00.005-04:00

My friend Greg invited me to go hear Rod Piazza, a harp player. (Harp is jargon for a harmonica.) Rod Piazza plays the blues on his harmonica and is a legend among the blues community. We arrived at Midway, a little tavern in a residential section of Mishawaka, about 40 minutes prior to the music beginning. It was a $20 cover charge and by the time we arrived, it was standing room only. Already about 200 reservations for seats had been taken. Fortunately Greg and I were sitting with Johnny who had a table reserved. Johnny takes photos of the players for Midway. His fine work in black and white is displayed through out the establishment. Just before the music began we had another fellow join us. He had heard Rod Piazza & the Mighty Flyers in Kalamazoo the night before. He had driven down from Grand Rapids MI, a good three hour drive. He was so appreciative of being able to sit at our table with us that he bought us a couple of rounds throughout the night. Pretty cheap since we were all drinking pop.

The music began and the place became electric. Not only was Rod a fantastic harp player, the rest of the band was each fantastic in their own right. His wife Honey on the keyboards (I didn't know fingers could play so fast), Henri C on the guitar (I love the guitar riffs) and Dave on the drums. Not only did we get to hear Rod Piazza & The Mighty Flyers, we had the pleasure of two additional individuals who joined the band for a song or two. One was Katie Wassenhove the aspiring granddaughter of Albertina the establishments owner. The other was 'Ole Harv' the local Blues DJ and member of Elwood Splinters Band. The granddaughter played the keyboards with Honey and 'Ole Harv' did some vocals.

Well, since my drinks were covered, I decided to buy a pizza to go with them. So, after drinking a few rounds of Diet Coke and eating some pizza, the break in between sets was welcome. I needed to visit the tiny toilet facilities; one urinal and one toilet in a closet. Who did I find myself sharing this refreshing break with other than Rod Piazza himself. A little banter with the man who was behind sunglasses all evening, made the time pass quickly.

I really enjoyed the time at Midway. I'm just wondering though when my ears will stop ringing.

Rod Piazza & The Mighty Flyers

Ole Harv

Photos at the Midway by Johnny

Just Another Day At The Beach?

2010-07-04T23:52:00.002-04:00

It was a beautiful day today. Almost a perfect day to go to the beach. So thought hundreds of others.

As I age, that which is appropriate seems to be changing. Perhaps we are becoming more like those European beaches. As I age, I also have become more attentive to sunburn prevention. So prior to today's trip to the beach, I purchased a beach umbrella. Good purchase in my estimation. Although it took me awhile to master how to use it on a windy day. At first, I had it full up and the wind caught it and turned it inside out. I finally used only the top half tilted towards the wind utilizing with it loosely inserted in a beach umbrella anchor allowing it to adjust to the wind without any undue strain. It was pretty low to the ground though.

So, here I am sitting in the shade of the beach umbrella in my Speedo and coming toward me is a young female wearing only a floppy hat. I avert my eyes knowing that staring is not appropriate. Just as she passes with the umbrella between her and me, her hat is blown off her head and lands at my feet. Politely I pick up the hat and hold it above my head and above the horizon of the umbrella where it could be retrieved. The hat is taken and I receive a "Thank you" in return. Just another day at the beach.

I affirm that all the facts laid out above are true and I do have witnesses to back up my story.

If Optometrists Ran The County

2010-04-11T14:52:00.003-04:00

I was wondering this morning, "If optometrists ran the country, would it be better, worse or about the same?" I got a chuckle thinking that. Then I began to wonder about it more.

If optometrists ran the country, they would be asking us if what they showed us was better, worse or about the same before they gave it to us.

If optometrists ran the country, their goal would be for us to see it clearer and they would be doing all they could to accomplish that.

If optometrists ran the country, they would want us try on what we were going to end up with, and to be happy with what we finally ended up with.

If optometrists ran the country, they wouldn't try to give everything away. They would realize, that someone was going to have to pay for what we got.

Of course, if they were evil optometrists, they would convince us that they knew best and that the world was supposed to look fuzzy and that seeing the world clearly would cause us to go blind.

It's Elementary

2010-03-25T07:48:00.002-04:00

My grandson invited me to come to his school and have lunch with him. It was something like 'grandparents day' but you didn't have to be a grandparent. Combined with a book fair, I think it may have had ulterior motives to get us to purchase books, which I did.

I felt like a giant going through the lunch line and then sitting at tables and chairs that were designed for their regular occupants.

Before long it was time to bid farewell and head back to the office. First, a quick stop at the Boy's Room. This room also designed for the shorter people. What I found interesting though is that the urinals were automatic flush. And even though the urinals were lower to the ground, the automatic eye would shoot out above the heads of most of its users. So....they would apparently go for long periods of time until an adult came by. And in this school, the adult males were few.

The automatic eye was good intentioned, but maybe not thought through before implementation. I guess the only response is that...It's elementary my dear Watson.

Are We There Yet?

2010-03-14T20:06:00.003-04:00

I remember asking this as a kid and answering it as a parent. Although kids seem to ask it more often, even we as adults want to know how much longer it will be until we reach our destination.

Not that long ago, an atlas of the country (8 x 14 with 50+ pages) was needed for long trips. That or a number of individual state maps that could be obtained ahead of time from state tourism offices, on the road from state information kiosks on major routes or purchased from gas stations. If you were fortunate enough to belong to AAA (American Automobile Association) you could get an individualized travel booklet with the sections of the roads you would be taking highlighted. That was then.

These days the GPS (Global Positioning System) (approximately 3 x 5) has the entire United States road system in it and will personalize your road trip based upon your desire for fastest, shortest, avoid tolls etc requirements. In addition, it can tell you nearby points of interest like eating establishments, gas stations, shopping and a number of other helpful locations.

In the days of maps us good drivers could answer the question "Are we there yet?" by giving you an approximate distance we still had to go and approximately how long it might take to get there. With the GPS, the answer to "Are we there yet?" is a little more precise giving you an exact time in minutes and distance in 10ths of a mile of which you have left to go. It is constantly updating these values as you travel.

One must be careful though and use some human intellect rather than accepting the automated response all the time. I think that it's always good practice to first review where it's taking you before you head off following it's voice guided directions.

Recently I pulled off of a main highway on to a dirt side road, about a cars length, to program in my destination. It politely asked if I wished to avoid dirt roads. I responded yes, to which it replied that I couldn't get there from where I was at...I was on a dirt road and in order to go anywhere, I had to be willing to take a dirt road.

Are we there yet? Well, we've certainly come a long way, but I wager that we will be making further advancements in this area. Maybe by the time my grandchildren are answering the age old question their children pose, we will have autopilot for our vehicles which will verbally respond.

Cursed Coupon

2010-02-05T13:19:00.002-05:00

It was time for lunch. The possibilities numerous. A coupon beckoned me. The Golden Arches whispered "you'll love it". The coupon was for medium drink & fries free with a Angus 1/3 lb burger. What was I thinking? Normally I would drink water. If I had fries, they would have been small rather than medium. I would have split the 1/3 pounder with my lovely wife. I clearly didn't think through this prior to my decision to go with the cursed coupon.

There I stood, moments away from placing my order. A decision had to be made. Would it be Deluxe, Bacon & Cheese or Mushroom & Swiss. Fortunately I chose the Deluxe not realizing that the other two were the only menu items with more calories than the Deluxe which I ordered.

As I consumed the 1130 calories I realized that it would take 5 hours of walking to counter act that caloric intake and that even a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese was less calories than the sandwich I chose. Oh cursed coupon.

It would have been better for me to have spent my money on salad and cursed the coupon.

Three Lights They're Out

2010-01-10T21:54:00.002-05:00

I'll admit I'm a skeptic when it comes to Global Warming/Global Climate Change which ever it is you want to call it. I'm even more of a skeptic when it comes to our causing it. Nevertheless it's my position that we should do what we can and be kind to the environment.

This past summer we replaced a light fixture in our bathroom. The previous one had six incandescent bulbs. The new fixture had a place for four bulbs. So, I buy CFL mini-spiral bulbs to put into it. (This is what we are supposed to be doing...right? At the present time, they are forcing consumers in parts of Europe to use CFLs) They claim that the bulbs will last 7 years each. These bulbs cost 3-4 times more than the incandescent bulbs. Now, in my experience, the incandescent bulbs last a long time so I'm going to want the 7 years touted by the manufacturer. I figure that if the bulb lasts 7 years, then I can afford the hassle of the 'proper disposal' of the bulbs over just throwing them in the trash. Heaven forbid if you break one, you can't just sweep or vaccum it up. Broken bulb cleanup instructions.

It's been 6 months and three of the CFLs have failed. I gave it a shot. I tried to do "the right thing". I'm applying the "three strikes you're out" logic and for now, it appears that I'm going to go back to the incandescents.

Best Wishes for Christmas

2009-12-21T23:10:00.004-05:00

For years an old steamer trunk has sat in my basement, the lock locked and the key missing. Online I found that Stevens Antique Trunks had a key for the trunk. It arrived today in the mail.

Upon opening the trunk there was Barb's wedding dress and various memorabilia among which was the Christmas card my mom and dad sent out my first Christmas. A most appropriate find for this time of year.

Wishing you the best this Christmas and the coming year.

Harold

Speed Up, You're Moving Too Slow

2009-12-21T22:49:00.002-05:00

Back in the 70s Simon and Garfunkul sang

Slow down, you move too fast

Got to make the mornin' last

Just kicken' down the cobble-stones

Lookin' for fun, and feelin' groovy

That was when hippies were in abundance. My hair was long. I wore bib overalls. I was probably considered a hippie. I even hitch hiked from Indiana to Vermont and camped out in on a mountain top for a week.

Forty years later life has changed. I now live in the suburbs and daily commute to work. This past summer the state has improved a two mile stretch of highway turning it from two lanes into four. Every morning I get on that highway and am singing to myself.

Speed up, you move too slow

Got to make that gas guzzler go.

I'm not advocating speeding, I just wish they would go the speed limit. Instead of going fifty, they go forty. Instead of driving in the right hand lane, they drive in the left lane. It's driving me crazy! This has become one of my pet peeves. So, if' you find yourself driving down Indiana 23 between Main St and Brick Road, go fifty, or get in the right lane.

Let There Be Light

2009-12-02T07:49:00.004-05:00

In the days before Thanksgiving the voice said "Let there be lights." But I reasoned that it was too soon for lights. And the voice said "The weather is mild. Let there be lights." But I did not listen to the voice.

The days of Thanksgiving passed and it was cold. Finally the sun shone and I assembled the lights. I plugged in the first strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the second strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I plugged in the third strand and said "Let there be light.", but there was no light. I reasoned that something must be wrong with the source that illuminated the light. But there was power in the source.

I had heard of a Keeper of Light and sought it out. I searched, but Lowe I found not the Keeper of the Light. I Targeted my search and behold, the Keeper of the Light was found.

The Keeper of the Light commanded the lights and they awoke, slowly. Strand by strand, group by group they awoke. I then strung the lights in the heaven's. (Ok, maybe not in the heavens, but to the roof tops.) I applied power from the source and said "Let there be light.", and there was light, some light. I climbed to the heavens with the Keeper of the Light and reminded the light from where the power came. And behold, there was light.

The sun rose. The day passed. The darkness came. The lights returned...except now black holes existed in the heavens and the light could not escape from those areas which occupied the lowest of the sky and the highest of heights.

I will summon courage, climb to the highest of heights and with the Keeper of the Light vanquish the black holes. There will be light.

In A Roundabout Way

2009-11-18T23:19:00.003-05:00

Recently a busy country intersection near me has been transformed from a 4 way stop to a roundabout. I'm liking it.

* Traffic is no longer backed up at the intersection

* You should only need to be concerned with traffic on your left rather than left, right and across

* If the area looses electricity...no problem, because there are no lights that need to be functioning for the smooth flow of traffic.

* Roundabouts are common in Europe and you know how much I like Europe

It amazing though how many people do not know what to do when they get to one.

Photo Flashback - Who is this young man?

2009-11-15T16:12:00.002-05:00

I'm looking through old slides from the late 70s and come across this photo. I looked like this at one time? We've got some serious hair going here. The mustache is a constant over the years although the shape and color have changed over the years. This happened to be one of my experimental photos using an orange juice container with both ends cut out and then the inside lined with aluminum foil to provide that fuzzy circle effect. This also was when I was going by Harry. Times sure change a person.

Walk This Way

2009-09-27T20:49:00.004-04:00

It's been 150 days since Wii Fit has been my fitness coach. When I first started he would say, "That's obese", when I would step on the balance board which measures my weight, BMI (Body Mass Index based on weight and height) and my COB (Center of Balance). Wii would assist me by asking me what my goal in weight loss was and how long I wanted to achieve that goal. I started out simple and told it that I wanted to loose 1 lb. The minimum time frame to reach a goal is 2 weeks. That seems to have worked for me. Since I've started I've lost 12 lbs and now when I step on the balance board it says "That's Overweight".

In addition to performing the weight, BMI and COB measurements, it selects two other random tests to perform. They can be steadiness, agility, single leg balance or checking something or other in regards to walking. It's this last test that I find strange. I have to stand on the balance board which is approximately 1 ft x 2 ft. Then it tells me to walk as I normally would walk. I have no idea how I'm supposed to walk normally on a 1 x 2 ft balance board.

In The Bag

2009-09-03T12:52:00.002-04:00

I'm asking myself why I feel it necessary to save and re-use plastic baggies. You know, the kind you put your sandwich in when you're packing your lunch.

The other day I found myself washing them to make them suitable for re-use. Barb has rightly pointed out that they are inexpensive and meant for one use. You probably haven't ever washed a baggie. They are not easy to wash. I'm not sure they get really clean.

So why do I hang on to them? It could be that I'm a miser and detest spending money. It could be that I'm concerned about the environment and want as few of these baggies floating around landfills. I'm not really sure what drives this quirk.

From this point forward I vow never to re-use baggies...uh, I vow never to wash them to make them suitable for re-use. If their used for something like...pretzels where the item itself does not remain with the baggie, I may re-use it. If what was in the bag still has it's DNA in the bag, it's gone.

Amazing New York Dogs

2009-08-15T17:59:00.004-04:00

Not far from here the fame of the Chicago Dog is well known. It's an all beef hot dog on a poppy seed bun with mustard, onion, Nuclear Relish, dill pickle spear, tomato, sports peppers and a dash of celery salt. That's a lot on a dog and it's not easy to eat without getting some of it on you. I digress since the New York dog referred to in my title is not a hot dog, but an actual dog.

Although I actually never saw these amazing dogs in New York City, there was a sign that referred to their existence. Actually I didn't see many dogs in NYC. I did see one peeking out of a duffel bag in Grand Central Station.

Any way, these amazing dogs are able to ride bikes. I would imagine that the bikes would be small bikes built especially for dogs. You see, I actually didn't see these bikes or the dogs ridding them, but I did see a sign referring to them. Not only were these dogs able to ride bikes, they also fed pigeons. I did see some pigeons in NYC, and while I didn't see dogs feeding them, I did see some people feed them. I wonder though if the dogs feed the pigeons while they are riding the bikes or at a separate time. Since I didn't see them, I really don't know. What I do know though is that these dogs are not well liked. People don't want them on their property. I guess that's only natural since dogs and pigeons have a way of letting you know that they had been there.

I wish I would have seen one of these dogs riding a bike and feeding pigeons, but all I saw was this sign.

The Queen's Lilly

2009-08-01T14:51:00.002-04:00

For years the Queen's Lilly has graced the kingdom. It's bloom is watchfully anticipated each summer. It is known to obey the wishes of the Queen. As the time approached for the royal family to travel from places as far away as the Land of the Rising Sun to meet here in the kingdom, the Queen instructed the lilly that it was to bloom on the day of the gathering. As the sun cast it's light over the kingdom on the morning the royal family gathered, the lilly slowly opened it's first bloom. Now as the kingdom celebrates the life of Lord Joshua, the lilly abounds with color. It's beauty is unrivaled among the other perennials.

Thus it is written in the annuls of the king.

Princess Ella And The Beautiful Flower

2009-07-19T14:47:00.002-04:00

It was a beautiful day in the kingdom and the King, Queen, Princes and Princesses were enjoying the weather. While they conversed near the castle, Princess Ella wandered into the neighboring kingdom where an old fort intrigued her. It been years since the fort's inhabitants had occupied it, but it was in relatively good condition. Unfortunately, the fort was not under the watchful eye of the king. Having left the safety of the kingdom, Princess Ella was susceptible to the influence of evil forces that would do her harm.

As the King and his court enjoyed their conversation, Princess Ella returned to the kingdom proclaiming she had found a "beautiful flower". In reality, the 'beautiful flower' was a poisonous plant. The evil forces had transformed it's simple appearance of three green leaves into that of a beautiful flower. The King who saw with clarity that it was poisonous, revealed it for what it was. The ivy of poison was carefully removed from possession and she was whisked away and attended to. It was fortunate that the ivy of poison was identified as soon as it was, before it had a chance to poison the royal family.

Beer To Diet For?

2009-07-09T22:27:00.004-04:00

Years ago I discovered a beverage out east not normally found in the midwest, Birch Beer. For those of you who might be concerned about my decline into alcoholism, not to worry. Birch Beer is similar to Root Beer. Many claim it tastes just like Root Beer. While it may be similar, there is a distinct difference. I've grown a liking for the beverage and when traveling out east, I attempt to purchase a few liters to bring back and enjoy here at home. My recent trip to Vermont was no exception. While there I went to the local grocery store with my cousin who, living in Vermont, was unfamiliar with Birch Beer. I wonder what beverages that are sold locally that are not sold in other geographic locations that I am unfamiliar with.

We found the soda aisle and wandered up and down it not spotting the desired Beer. Finally I spotted it and purchased three liters. Once back at my cousins, I chilled one for consumption later on. The other two were packed away for transportation back to Indiana.

Back in Indiana the Birch Beer was unpacked and as I was placing a liter in to the fridge, I noticed that the word Diet was on the bottle. Arrrggghhhh. One does not choose 'diet' on items that he considers an indulgence. Well, the bottle is still chilling waiting for that special moment when it will be poured into a glass and savored. The question is whether the diet version will live up to my expectations for an indulgence.

Birch Beer has been infrequently found in some local stores as a specialty soda with a price tag to match. It is also available in Shipshewana at Yoder's Red Barn Shoppes also at an price twice that out east.

Creemeed After Climbing Spruce Mountain

2009-06-26T16:01:00.004-04:00

Spruce Mountain

Trail Length: 4.5 miles

Vertical rise: 1,340 feet

Difficulty: Moderate

For me, the hike up Spruce Mountain was a bit more than moderate and I've seen other posts on internet voicing the same sentiment. It was an enjoyable hike and the view from the fire tower at the top were excellent.

By the time we had completed the hike, my legs were moaning. On the way back from the hike we stopped at Bragg Farms and had a Maple Creemee. Creemee is the terminology used here to refer to soft serve ice cream. The maple flavor of the creemee came from 100% Vermont Maple Syrup. It was a delight.

Tour de Indiana

2009-06-07T14:59:00.011-04:00

This is my first multi-day biking adventure. It started out with two people, grew to five, and then shrunk back down to the original two. John Gardner and myself will bike across Indiana west to east, a total of 182 miles, in 4 days. We've chosen a modest schedule with our most aggressive days being the middle two days at almost 60 miles each day.

Some friends have consented to be our "SAG wagon" for a few days. If you are interested in participating in this way one day this week, contact me. (You would meet us at pre-determined locations with nourishment that we provide. Then at the end of the day, you would help us retrieve our vehicle from the beginning of the day.)

I've included maps at the bottom of this post. You will probably want to "view larger map" in a new tab/window.

My intent is to update this post daily and include photos. The actual ride begins Tuesday in Iroqois IL and ends Friday just east of Monroeville IN.

Daily posts follow here

Day 1
Started out from Iroquois, IL about 10:30 EDT. This was about 3 miles west of the state line. The only parking that would have been available at the state line on our route was a cemetary. I think a city park was a better option. There was miles and miles of little traveled country roads. There was the occassional dog that asserted it's authority over the section of road in front of it's house. Cows and horses would pause their grazing to give us the once over. Road kill was also available to play road kill bingo; snake, frog, fox, bird, pheasant. The weather was pleasant, overcast and not hot. The wind though did occassionaly push back at us. We exceeded our daily target and actually biked 38 miles this day. When we checked in to the hotel, I realized that I should have put the sunscreen on at the beginning of the day. My legs and arms were a little red.

We were grateful for the support that Steve Matteson provided. Thanks to him we had Subway for lunch and a ride back to our vehicle which was an hour away by car. Steve caught the excitement of participating in our Tour de Indiana ride. At supper we began talking 'hypothetically' about how we would arrange things if he were to join us the following day and ride with us. By the end of supper we had worked out all the details of how we would handle the ride with three riders and no support vehicle meeting us at pre-designated points. (Steve had heard that tomorrow holds some rain in the forecast and that Pastor John was not feeling the excitement of riding support under such conditions.) Tomorrow Steve joins us for the remainder of the ride.

Tomorrow's target destination is Denver.

Day2
We got started about 10:00 today just south east of Rensellaer. Shortly after starting the ride, I got a call from John Gregory who was riding support today. He was in Buffalo and would drive out meet us about 10 miles into the ride. He met us again in Buffalo and he then went to scout out finding us some lunch and bringing it out to us. Out here, there is very little to choose from. He finally found a little Dairy Queen type place and waited 17 minutes while they prepared the fried chicken. It was still quite hot when he finally caught up with us. Thanks John.

The afternoon ride was accompanied by fighter jets flying overhead for much of the time. The huge sound they created made it difficult to spot where they were since they were so much further ahead of the sound.

While stopped for a break in Fletcher, we met a biker riding east to west from Cleavland OH to Muscatine IA. He was biking solo and putting in an average of 80 miles per day.

Today's roadkill included possum, deer, raccoon and skunk. At one point we kicked up a deer along side the road.

After riding 40 miles, we began to get into some 'rollers'. One of earlier ones felt like the initial climb on a roller coaster. It got the best of me, and even having dropped the bike down into the lower gears, my legs were screaming out. I dismounted and walked the last bit of it.

All day we had been fighting a head wind. The west to east route was chosen to take advantage of prevailing winds which seemed to have abandoned us on this ride.

I learned some biking phrases today; pull, sucking wheel. Here is how they might be used in a sentence. "Steve was pulling for Harold while he was sucking wheel." Pulling for someone is riding lead and providing a wind break allowing the following rider(s) to take advantage of the draft created. Sucking wheel is someone who is riding too close the rider in front of him. Actually, I didn't suck any wheel today. For the most part, a was a little further back from John and Steve. That is until we got into a downhill mode. Physics gives me the advantage on a downhill.

Just after achieving 24.5 mph on one of the rollers, the riding day ended in Denver at about 5:30. John Gardner gave me the keys to his van. Steve strapped our two bikes to his bike rack and we took off for an hours drive back to get the van from where we started that day. John on the other hand rode his bike an additional 15 miles to the Holiday Inn Express where we were spending the night. The worst part of the trip is the two hours at the beginning and end of the day to move vehicles. If we had someone who was with us whose sole responsibility was to drive the vehicle with the bikes, we would free up 4 hours a day. This moving vehicles 'sucks wheel'. The good news; the hotel has a spa pool. The bad news; it's currently out of order.

Thursday breaking from trek due to weather. Will resume in a few days.

Day 3
Finally back on the route. Unfortunately, by the time we got down here and parked our car at the end point, Salamonie Dam, and drove back to Denver, it was 2:00 in the afternoon. Today's ride was fairly short, 30 miles, but it had a slight head wind and numerous 'rollers'. Rollers is some more cycling jargon which refers to hilly terrain. There was no incline that whopped me, but I did get the gears down really low. On one downhilll, I exceeded 25 mph. The last part of the ride took us through the Salamonie Forest. It was a beautiful shaded ride full of rollers.

The only significant roadkill today was Bambi which was in the forest. We did see other deer today two crossing highways and one in a field.

Many thanks to Barb today who sagged for us. Sagging is not a lot of fun, but we bikers really appreciate it. Thanks for giving up a day to help us out Barb. You did a great job.

Steve will join up with us for the final day and the longest day. We are looking at just about 60 miles to finish up. At the moment, my odometer reads 124.75 miles for the trip. Tomorrow, the ride will be relatively flat, but the wind will again be out of the east. What's up with that? We chose west to east because of the prevailing winds. No such luck.

Day 4
What was originally planned to be a short day, turned out to be the longest day. To finish the ride we needed to put in 60 plus miles today. Moving vehicles was going to chew up 4 plus hours, the drive home another 2 plus hours. The ride itself was 6 hours peddling time averaging just over 12 mph.

The day started at 5:45 am when we arose and took nourishment. It was 8:00 by the time we were on the bikes at Salomonie Dam. Today's ride was fairly level, although there were times I got the gears down pretty low to climb some hills. The wind was once again out of the east and we were riding right into it. By 11:00 we had reached Zanesville which was what I considered the halfway point of today's ride. I stayed with the bikes in Zanesville under the shade of a tree while John and Steve repositioned the vehicles. While resting, I head some talking and looked up to see three motorized wheel chairs with a gaggle of kids, one with a blue mohak, coming into town up the main road. An interesting site to say the least.

It was about 5:30 when we finally concluded the ride on the Indiana and Ohio state line.

Today's roadkill included a ripe deer, a snake, a frog not yet flattened, a racoon, various birds and numerous unidentifiable critters.

Steve and John are already talking another major ride. Me, this ride has satisfied me for awhile. A few day trips, fine. But, a multi day mega mile trip...ask me next year.

Day 1 & 2 (You will need to zoom out to see full map)

View Larger Map

Day 3 & 4 (You will need to zoom out to see full map)

View Larger Map

National Do Not day

2009-06-05T20:17:00.003-04:00

The first Friday in June, National Doughnut Day. But for me, it was National Do Not day. It was mid morning and I was getting a little craving for a doughnut and was just about ready to walk over to Stone's Bakery and get me a cake doughnut when the phone rang. "Hi, this is Amy from Get Fit Get Healthy." She was making a followup call to see how I was doing on my goals that I had set months before. After reviewing my failure to meet my goals and what I could do to make more progress toward my wellness goals, my desire to get a doughnut was still there, but I knew that for me it was "do not" get that doughnut. So, I walked down the hall with my water bottle and filled it up. Drinking more water and eating less doughnuts will help me move towards my goal of loosing a few pounds.

Night at the Newseum

2009-05-29T22:43:00.002-04:00

It was an evening gala held at Washington DC's Newseum, a museum dedicated to news. It began with hundreds of individuals bused to the Newseum to dine, dance and enjoy the museum exclusively for their entertainment. For starters, I enjoyed a variety of exquisite food, along with my bottle of Dansani water that I brought with me. (It was a cash bar for alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages including $4 water.) This was followed by taping a newscast. Then meandering around the museum.

As the evening approached it's end I searched for the exit so that I could board the buses that were heading back to the hotel. The words "Group Exit" appeared at the end of the room. I was with a group and I wanted to exit. Despite no one else heading that direction, I continued on past three wait staff who paid no attention to me. The large steel doors opened easily as I pushed against them. As the door closed behind me, I realized that I was now in a deserted gift shop. The doors I came through were not intended to be opened from this side. I searched around and realized that the only other exit had been closed. Calling out for assistance would be futile with the loud music blaring from the other side of the doors. Visions of being held hostage here until the morning employees came to open the gift shop plaqued me. Feeling helpless, I turned again to the huge steel doors and was able to slip a finger or two between them. With no good grasp, I had to rely solely on the friction my fingers had against the door. It slowly yielded to the point I was able to get my fingers on the other side of the door and pull it open.

I now am thankful that I will be spending the evening on a bed instead of on a floor.

Visit of the Turk

2009-04-21T21:18:00.002-04:00

The kingdom of Heir-Olde has been quiet for many risings of the moon. The king was honored to have a visit from the Turk who was traveling from the west. The king proclaimed loudly the presence of the Turk to those in his kingdom. The Turk not wanting to be delayed in his journey continued with haste off to the southern lands and then off to the east.

Moles have again invaded the kingdom and have ravaged it while trying to stay hidden from the eyes of the king. Boldly they approached the castle of the king. The king revealed the doings of one of the moles and entered in combat with him personally and was victorious over his foe. The sentry was again posted in the south east region of the kingdom where he captured and held for execution another mole from the south as well as terminating the life of a third. Their remains returned to the border as a warning to others.

As the kingdom comes to life and it's green bounty pushes forth, the king wishes only for peace.

Thus it is recorded in the allegories of our leader.

Lying Through Her Teeth

2009-04-21T07:57:00.003-04:00

I was perusing the news on FoxNews.com when I saw a link regarding whiter teeth. Seldom do I follow links, but this one claiming success with products found around the home intrigued me to at least follow it one click.

The new page starts out in large print Cathy's Teeth Whitening Success then some sub headings, a before and after photo and then the testimonial. My name is Cathy Anselmo. I live in Mishawaka, IN and I want to tell you...

Amazing! Cathy was from right here in Mishawaka. I became skeptical. I did a quick Switchboard search on the last name Anselmo for Mishawaka. Nothing found. I then did a "view source" on the web page and confirmed my suspicion. Cathy lied. (It's probably not even a woman) The page source showed that it was obtaining the city and state information from a script that retrieved it from information available from where the individual was browsing from.

If Cathy lies to me about where she is from, what else is she lying to me about?

No Coffee Break

2009-03-29T15:58:00.002-04:00

Wellness is a major movement these days. I'm for wellness, but sometimes I think things are taken out of context to support the desired conclusion.

A recent wellness newsletter included a short article about a study. The individuals who participated in the study trained in the morning on verbal memory, motor, and perceptual learning tasks. Then they were split into 3 groups.
* Group 1 got a 60-90 minute nap
* Group 2 listened to a book on tape and received a pill that had caffeine the equivalent of a 10oz cup of coffee
* Group 3 listened to a book on tape and received a placebo (sugar pill)

Then later they were tested on what they had learned in the morning. Results:
* Group 1 (nap group) tested best
* Group 2 (caffeine group) tested worst
* Group 3 (placebo) tested second best

Conclusion: You might want to skip that cup of coffee (The title of the article)

It's interesting to note that the nap group is the only group that didn't have to absorb more material (listening to a book on tape) that might interfere with what they learned earlier.

Why does coffee get the bad rap here? Coffee wasn't even part of the study. It simply has caffeine in common with the pill that was used. Maybe it would have been different had coffee been used.

My conclusion: Naps help performance.

From Death to Life

2009-03-19T20:56:00.002-04:00

It's Friday morning. I'm standing in a farmhouse bedroom where my unresponsive aunt Lil is using all the energy she has on each breath she takes. My father, just back from Florida the day before, sits by her bed talking to her of recent conversations they have had about the tribulations they have faced in life and about who would 'go home' first. Her daughter lovingly strokes her head telling her that it's okay to go home.

Six days earlier in her living room we talked with a 93 year old aunt Lil who looked neither 93 nor looked savaged by the aggressive leukemia that momentarily took a back seat to the two units of blood she had received a day earlier. In fact she had just finished up interviewing a client of hers. She wasn't about to sit on the sidelines of her tax business and let the others shoulder the load.

The mood in the bedroom is now somber. We notice her eyelids have now opened slightly, but that is the only change. Sensing the end is near my father gives up his seat so her granddaughter can be with her in these last moments. Soon she is no longer struggling to breathe, the room falls silent. Her time had come.

Eighteen hours later my daughter calls. The arrival of our new grandchild is anticipated soon. Barb attempts to get some sleep before the final call comes telling us that she is on the way to the hospital. Sixty minutes doesn't provide much time to rest. The call comes. They are on their way. We begin to prepare for the coming hours. We shower, pick out clothes we'll be comfortable in, send e-mails to the family letting them know that by morning we hope to have a new grandchild. The phone rings. It's our son-in-law. He puts our daughter on the line. A crying baby can be heard in the background. It doesn't quite click. But then the words make it clear. We have a new grandson. Even if we would have left the minute we received the call, it wouldn't have been soon enough to get there before Jesten made his entrance into this world. There was only 12 minutes difference from the time they arrived at the hospital until their new son was delivered.

In just over 18 hours I had seen life take it's last breath and saw life taking some of it's first breaths.

Photos and timeline of Jesten's arrival.

Photo Flashback - Valentine

2009-02-14T11:12:00.001-05:00

The Case of the Missing Camera:Closed

2009-01-18T15:34:00.004-05:00

It was back in October of 2008 when Kodak turned up missing. A report of the missing camera can be found in the December 2008 post The Case of the Missing Camera. What follows is the resolution of that case.

On December 27th 2008 at 4:00pm, Harold and Barb entered the airport terminal at South Bend Regional Airport to board a plane for Sanford FL. Their departing flight had been delayed and they were informed to check back at the desk at 8:00pm. Their permanent residence being 20 minutes from the airport, they decided to pass the time at home. While at home Harold watched movies while Barb re-arranged the storage room.

It was during her re-arranging that she noticed that Harold's saddle bag for his bike seemed a little heavier than normal. Barb investigated and found the camera that had been missing for two months inside. When confronted with the location that the camera was found, Harold could not recall how Kodak would have come to be located in the saddle bags which were now in the basement.

Kodak was now packed and accompanied the Rodgers' to FL. Once in FL batteries for Kodak were purchased and it was put to use. It was noticed that Kodak was not it's old self. Even with new batteries, Kodak would not always turn on. Sometimes it took numerous tries and sometimes so many that we just gave up.

With this new information the "Missing Camera Bureau" is concluding that Kodak made it's way from top of the dresser in the first floor bedroom into the bike saddlebags in the storage room in the basement so that it could slip on into the afterlife of cameras. Many will be skeptical that the camera would be able to transport itself off the dresser, down the hall, open a closed door to the basement, down the stairs, around a corner, through another closed door, up on a shelf, unzip a saddlebag climb in and zip the bag back up. Yet, there is no other logical conclusion.

Diet Is The First To Go

2009-01-17T16:20:00.005-05:00

You're probably thinking that I made a New Year's Resolution to diet among other resolutions and that I have now abandon my diet. Wrong.

I've discovered that diet pop freezes before other pop and water. A few days ago I pulled into the garage to find our mini-fridge door open. Upon closer examination I discover an exploding diet sprite had blown the door open sending ice shards throughout the immediate vicinity. It actually ripped the can open. Due to the extreme cold it was fairly easy to clean up since it appeared that the contents were never in liquid form outside the can.

I removed all the other Sprite Zero cans not wanting a repeat. I unplugged the mini-fridge and left the other pop and water in there thinking that the inside would not get as cold as the outside and that the other liquids would be safe. Wrong.

This morning about 7:00 as I lay in bed I heard a sound, not unlike something falling off a shelf somewhere. I ignored it and continued my rest. Later that morning I was informed that there was a mess to clean up in the garage. This time two, not one but two, Diet Cokes exploded, again blowing the door open. The car, being parked in the garage at the time, had the pleasure of experiencing it's first Diet Coke. The mess this time was more extensive and looked like the proverbial excrement had hit the fan. The water was also frozen and other soft drinks were very close but still, it was the diet that was first to go.

Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Told You So

2009-01-16T15:46:00.004-05:00

In October of 2007 I had a post Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss where I suggested that I could loose weight simply by sleeping. Followed up by Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Dream On where I expounded further on my theory.

Then in January of 2008 I offered personal evidence in the post Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss:Reality.

And now in the January 2008 Reader's Digest article "13 Things You Never Knew About Your Weight" they give us "fascinating facts behind the new fat-busting science". Fact 6 "Sleep More, Lose More". The article references Louis Aronne MD and past president of the Obesity Society as well as University of Chicago researchers. The conclusion..."sleep may be the cheapest and easiest obesity treatment there is."

Told you so.

Photo Flashback - Young Married

2008-12-25T09:55:00.004-05:00

I do not know the exact date of this photo, but my guess is late 1974. Barb and I are married. I can tell by the wedding band on my finger. (If you enlarge the photo you can see it.) Barb's not giving the photographer the finger, she's fiddling with her wedding ring. From left to right are Mike and Brenda Gans, Linda Rodgers (later to be Smith), Barb and Harold Rodgers. I don't look half bad in this photo. This photo was taken at my parents home on Eagle Lake in Edwardsburg MI.

Photo Flashback - YFC Campus Life

2008-12-16T21:36:00.002-05:00

It was the early 70's when I worked with Youth For Christ in Elkhart County. This group was from Concord High School. It shouldn't be too hard to identify which one of these free spirits was me.

The Case of the Missing Camera

2008-12-07T16:31:00.004-05:00

It was Saturday October 25th when Kodak was last seen. Harold had taken him to Schlafzimmer where he could re-charge. Kodak was going to have a gig the following day and wanted to be fresh and full of energy. Harold had given him a couple of Double A's to hold him till the next morning when he would get a fully re-charged set. There by the dresser was the last time Harold remembers seeing Kodak.

The next morning things were a little hectic and Harold decided not to take Kodak to the gig that was planned. Later Harold retrieved the set of Double A's that he was going to give Kodak for the gig. But Kodak was no where to be found. Since Kodak was dependent on others for transportation, he couldn't have gone far on his own. There have been numerous searches in the immediate area where he was last seen but with no avail. Kodak's normal hangout was even searched thinking that perhaps someone may have returned him there. It was empty. It's unsure whether Kodak has taken any sensitive data with him. He does have identification on him, but it may not be easy to find and he won't give it up willingly. It will need to be forced from him.

In the six weeks since he's been missing, his companionship has been noticeably absent. He was able to show us things about ourselves that we enjoyed. We don't suspect any foul play, but who knows.

Kodak, if you're out there and reading this, we want you to know we miss you. Please come home. Christmas without you just won't be the same.

Over Medicated

2008-12-01T22:53:00.002-05:00

Over Thanksgiving I started coming down with a cold, at least that's what the symptoms seem to be. So I start taking vitamin C, Zycam and green tea. I thought that I had dealt it a decent blow.

Saturday I picked up some Zinc lozenges and some menthol cough drops. The Zinc to reduce the effects of the cold and the cough drops to hopefully to help clear my sinuses or as the packaging says "cool nasal passages". I popped a Zinc in and then afterward a cough drop. Shortly thereafter I began reading the packaging for the cough drops.

Directions
Adults and children 5 years and over: Dissolve 1 drop slowly in the mouth. Repeat every two hours as needed.

I have to confess. I did not wait two hours for my next dosage. In a two hour period, I may have taken anywhere from 3 to 4 cough drops.

It's now a few days later and the cold, if that's really what it is, seems to be dealing me a decent blow.

It'll be a cold day in ...

2008-11-23T16:42:00.003-05:00

It'll be a cold day in Granger when Harold get's around to replacing his sliding patio door. He knew in the spring that he probably should get it replaced. There was no major hurry though. By the time summer arrived, he was concerned about the heat. (Looking back, that probably would have been a better choice of year.) So he procrastinated till the fall. Late fall. It was October when he finally connected with a friend who sells windows and doors to suppliers. At the same time he connected with an individual to do the work. It was late October when he actually ordered the door. The initial estimate on the door arrival was two weeks. After a week a followup call revealed that it would be yet another week before the door arrived. As the weekend approached, the forecast continued to drop. The actual day of the door replacement, it was -4°C.

The door is now in. Fortunately the interior of the house didn't get any colder than 16°C while the work was being done.

There were some stickers on the window. I removed them. Then I opened up the warranty materials and find this.

Now really! Do they expect me to leave the stickers on the door windows? Did I void the warranty? Maybe if I pull them out of the trash and stick them back on the windows no one will know.

Photo Flashback - Actor

2008-11-15T17:09:00.002-05:00

The hills are alive!

My second major theatrical involvement occurred in my Freshman year of high school. Who knew I could sing. And if I could, what ever happened to that talent?

A number of years have passed, but I believe my recollection is clear. I played both boys in this production. Friedrich one night and Kurt the other. It appears from this picture that I was playing Friedrich this night. (I'm the one kneeling in the lower left)

The 6th Juror

2008-11-06T19:05:00.002-05:00

After clearing security and glad I wasn't carrying any knives this day, I made my way to Jury room 124. There on the table was a number of pages stapled together with names highlighted in yellow and blue. Each prospective juror had to find their name and sign in. If your name was highlighted in yellow, you returned to the previous room to have a seat among 23 other prospective jurors. My name, highlighted in blue, had the number 6 beside it. My destiny had already come into alignment. Born the 6th day of the 6th month and now sitting in the seat for juror 6 it was becoming clear, 666, I was to be selected for the jury.

The grueling jury selection process began at 10:30. The first 14 jurors entered the box and responded to questions by the judge, prosecutor and defender. Two and a half hours later the dismissed 9 of the 14 initial jurors. I was the only male out of 5 that remained. After lunch a second group of 14 entered the jury box. One and a half hours later 7 more were dismissed. For the third round, 7 entered the jury box. Thirty minutes later the last two jurors were selected. We had now spent an entire day on jury selection.

Day two the last juror arrives right at 10:00 the appointed time. Forty five minutes later we enter the courtroom. Opening statements and our first witness get's things moving. As jurors, we also get to submit questions of witnesses after the prosecutor and defender are finished. Questions that may end up being rejected due to inappropriateness. Fortunately mine was appropriate unlike another jurors whose was not. Three more witnesses and 8 pages of notes (5x7) later we head off to the jury room to deliberate.

One juror volunteers to be the foreperson, the one who puts their name on the official verdict, and another actually leads us in the process through the 5 elements that needed to be proved beyond reasonable doubt for us to return a guilty verdict of attempted robbery. Eight by ten photos of the crime scene along with the victim were passed around. Obviously officers had not been trained in the art of photo composition. The sealed evidence folder with the defendant's watch and broken watch band inside was passed around. I wondered why DNA samples had not been collected from the watch to positively place the defendant at the scene of the crime. I guess it wasn't needed since the defender did not contest the fact that the defendant was there and had done a horizontal rumba with the victim. I with my 8 pages of notes was ready to argue the finer points as we deliberated, convincing that one juror to our side. Since we were all in agreement, there was no need to convince anyone of anything. We knock on the door informing the bailiff that we had reached a verdict. Thirty minutes later we are ushered back to the jury box.

Our job is now done as each of us are polled as to our agreement with the verdict. Then the judge informs us that the defendant has had two prior felony convictions and we are now entering into the second stage; the determination of whether the defendant is a Habitual Offender. As the two lawyers talk with the judge, I cast my eyes towards the defendant. My gaze is returned and he mouths something to me. Did anyone else see that? What did he say? Does he know my full name? I'm pretty sure he didn't say "Good job". I'm not really sure I want to know what it was that he said. That was the last time I looked directly at him.

The verdict on the Habitual Offender went quickly since it was straight forward. The defender didn't even address the jury. After being thanked for our service we went our separate ways. Me looking back over my shoulders to make sure one of the defendant's family members wasn't following me.

Photo Flashback - Actor

2008-10-28T21:18:00.005-04:00

I was in 8th grade when I had what I consider my acting debut. It was the spring of 1966. I don't even recall how I, an eighth grader, ended up in a high school production. A musical none the less. Here I am far right.

I'm not sure how I end up in the center of the finale. It must have been my vocal talent. :-)

My brother-in-law, Mike Gans, is also in the cast. Right of center in the finale photo.

Photo Flashback - Flutist

2008-10-19T21:53:00.003-04:00

True/False

Harold knows how to play the flute?

Harold played the flute in high school?

The tux and flute are borrowed?

Harold has played publicly before an audience?

This photo is from his first album?

This was part of a sketch he was in?

Harold does know how to play the flute. He took lessons in his late twenties. (This photo is from 1980) The tux was from my participation in a wedding. One of my most precious moments was playing a duet with my daughter Emily at church. I have never recorded an album.

Score of 5-6, you know Harold really well
Score of 3-4, you know Harold
Score 1-2, you should get to know Harold better
Score 0, This should be an impossible score due to the first two questions where you would have said that I didn't know how to play the flute but yet I played it in High School.

NOmonic Device

2008-10-08T20:11:00.002-04:00

A mnemonic device is something that will help you remember something else. For me it's been things like putting my keys in a different pocket. When I realize they're in a different pocket I remember why I put them there. That's the way it's supossed to work.

Here I am 200 miles from home attending a funeral. A light rain is falling. Being the gentleman I am, I open up the umbrella and walk Barb from the car to the church. As I place the umbrella in a corner not far from the entrance, I realize that it may not be raining when we leave and something needs to be done to remind me that I have an umbrella to retrieve before leaving. I switch the pockets my keys are in.

An hour an a half later we leave the church. The rain has stopped. We walk to our car conversing with one of Barb's relatives. Upon arriving at the car I realize my keys are in a different pocket. Ahh. Turn my cell phone back on! Then as we slowly get into the car it hits me. I took an umbrella in there. Fortunately it didn't take as long to remember this as the last time I used this method in "Now What's That String for?"

Slice of Life

2008-09-28T21:47:00.005-04:00

Barb turned 55 on Sunday. In preparation for her birthday dinner I was preparing ingredients for a salad. Radishes go good in a salad particularly if they are sliced thin. The best way to slice veggies thin is to use one of those Pampered Chef "Ultimate Mandoline" thingy where you slide the vegetable back and forth on it as it slices it. The one that has imprinted on it's plastic surface "Always use food holder to hold items being grated or sliced." Have you ever tried to use the holder with a radish? It's so much easier if you use your hand knowing that you will stop before...OUCH! If I were a cussin' man, this is where it would have occurred. I sliced the end of my thumb. I didn't cut it, I sliced it exposing what I believe were nerve endings. Why else would it hurt when I put it under running water? Well, that was the first radish. I found a way to do the second radish using the food holder. Now, I'm learning how to do things without using my right thumb.

My Two (many) Scents

2008-09-08T21:53:00.003-04:00

Scent 1 - I step in the shower and lather up with soap.
Scent 2 - Shampoo my hair.
Scent 3 - Put on deodorant
Scent 4 - Shaving cream
Scent 5 - Hairspray
Scent 6 - Cologne

It would be nice to not have so many competing scents to deal with.

Blast From the Past

2008-09-01T14:22:00.004-04:00

Circa 1973/1974 with Barbara Krake (eventually to be Rodgers). Taken on Bethel's campus, in the Acorn (which was then located in the lower level of Shupe).

Rights Trump Life

2008-08-25T21:30:00.004-04:00

Tom Brokaw interviewed Nancy Pelosi August 25th 2008.

MR. BROKAW: Senator Obama saying the question of when life begins is above his pay grade, whether you're looking at it scientifically or theologically. If he were to come to you and say, "Help me out here, Madame Speaker. When does life begin?" what would you tell him?

REP. PELOSI: I would say that as an ardent, practicing Catholic, this is an issue that I have studied for a long time. And what I know is, over the centuries, the doctors of the church have not been able to make that definition. And Senator--St. Augustine said at three months. We don't know. The point is, is that it shouldn't have an impact on the woman's right to choose. Roe v. Wade talks about very clear definitions of when the child--first trimester, certain considerations; second trimester; not so third trimester. There's very clear distinctions. This isn't about abortion on demand, it's about a careful, careful consideration of all factors and--to--that a woman has to make with her doctor and her god. And so I don't think anybody can tell you when life begins, human life begins. As I say, the Catholic Church for centuries has been discussing this, and there are those who've decided...

From transcript on MSNBC's website

I don't think I would be wrong to summarize those lines as:
Q: When does life begin?
A: It doesn't matter, It shouldn't have an impact on the woman's right to choose.

I realize that there may be disagreements on when a "human life begins". But I would think that we would respect "that life" at the point at which we believe that it became a human life. If one said, that it becomes a human life at conception, I would expect that they would hold that life sacred from that point forward. If another said that human life begins at birth, I would expect that they would hold that life sacred from that point forward. But what I hear Nancy Pelosi say is that even if we were to come to a consensus on when human life begins, a woman should be able to terminate that life. I believe that crosses the line and that we are not far from justified infanticide as a right.

i-Fume

2008-08-13T21:40:00.003-04:00

When "My Man Mitch" leased out the toll road, I was among the many who didn't particularly like the idea. I'm thinking, "If someone else can make money at it, why can't we?" I'm not all that fond of toll roads. Haven't they recouped the cost of the road by now? I guess "Once a toll road, always a toll road". If anyone knows of a toll road that became a freeway, I'd be interested in hearing it.

It's been awhile since the toll road was leased and I've gotten over it. Then this spring Barb and I took a long weekend and flew out to Phoenix from O'Hare. What was I thinking? Was it really saving me money by driving to Chicago to catch my plane? I need to calculate the cost before I do that again. When we returned, the fares on the Indiana Toll Road had increased by 50%. What previously cost $2 now cost $3. I'm thinking now that it wouldn't take too many trips to recoup the cost of getting an i-Zoom. With the i-Zoom I pay the old rates. The materials though indicated there would be a $1 a month maintenance fee. There went any savings I had hoped to garner. I don't use it that much. Then recently I found out that the fee is waived if you have your account replenished from your checking account. With a trip to Wisconsin coming up, i-Zoom's reduced fare on the toll road and the Zooming through the Illinois tolls became attractive.

We left work that Friday at noon, I dropped off Barb at home and Zoomed over to the i-Zoom Customer Care Center which was a few miles away to get my handy dandy transponder which I would reluctantly attach to my windshield. As I was making the transaction, I heard them say "It will take up to two hours to become active in Indiana, and up to 48 hours in other states." Rats! That meant full tolls heading to Wisconsin and stop and go at the Illinois toll booths. But at least it would be functional when I returned...or so I thought.

On the return trip home I was gleeful as I Zoomed through the special lanes on the Illinois Tollway. I had no idea if it was working or not. Once through Chicago, I had the real test, the Skyway. Here there was a gate that would only lift up if your transponder was working. Bingo! Up it went. I was feeling good. Forty-eight hours and it was working in Illinois. As I approached the Indiana entrance to the toll road I got in the i-Zoom lane following the cars as the gate came down and went up as each car passed through. Finally my turn. I drove up and the gate stared at me. The machine to my left politely told me to "take a ticket". All my previous elation now drained from me. Not only was it more than "two hours" since I obtained my transponder, I wasn't Zooming through the booth. I was beginning to fume. We made an exit at Michigan City to visit the outlet mall. I handed my ticket to the attendant and then handed my transponder to him as well explaining the situation. They attempted to read the transponder to no avail. Full fare in cash please. I fume.

I hope beyond reason that when I return to the toll-road from our interlude at the Lighthouse Mall that my transponder and account would be working. I work with computers. I should know better. You don't keep hitting the submit button if it doesn't work the first time, it won't do any good. I approach the gate and a message appears, "Transponder not read". Well what's up? It knows I have a transponder. It worked fine in Illinois. Why can't it work here? "Take ticket." I'm fuming.

We finally arrive at our exit. Again I hand the ticket and transponder to the attendant. Still no read. Full fare in cash please. Give me a receipt please, I fume.

Monday I contacted the Customer Care Center and told them I was an unhappy customer and explained the situation. The lady on the other end of the phone could see where the transponder had worked between the Skyway and the toll-road west entrance and was perplexed. She said she would ask for an adjustment to my account and have the problem looked into. Saturday Barb used the toll-road and the transponder and the gate are now friends. My account still has not been credited. It's the principal. I guess it's time for another call.

Tour de Wisconsin

2008-08-03T21:49:00.002-04:00

What was I thinking?
For our 34 anniversary I wanted to go somewhere special. I look at southern Wisconsin revealed a number of rail-to-trail paths. The Elroy-Sparta trail is claimed to be the first of such trails. Maps.google.com showed that the trip there would be 5 hours and 44 minutes. I rounded it down to 5 thinking that google was conservative in it's estimation. We didn't get away until 3:15pm Friday and by the time we hit Chicago it was time for the exodus from the city to outlying destinations and we crawled for what seemed to be hours. We finally made the Illinois-Wisconsin border and it was still daylight, but the daylight was dimming. The sun went to bed and we were still driving. Seven hours after our departure we arrived at our destination. Had my calculation been a seven hour drive, I probably wouldn't have planned it. Even at 5 hours 44 minutes, what was I thinking?

Saturday morning we drove from our accommodations in Hillsboro to Elroy. As we hung around waiting for the Trail Shop to open, I noticed all the other bikers were wearing their helmets. I began to feel the peer pressure to wear a helmet and I applied that pressure on Barb who eventually conceded to wear the helmet. I believe that in wearing the helmet we advanced our standing among serious bikers.

What was she thinking?
Finally we were on the Elroy-Sparta trail, a 32 mile trail from Elroy to Sparta. My plans were to bike midway to Wilton (15 miles) and then back to Elroy. Maybe even to Norwalk (21 miles). Round trip to Wilton and back would have been a 30 mile ride. Norwalk would have been 42 miles and the longest ride we would have ever done. The Elroy-Sparta trail had 3 tunnels. Two of them were a quarter mile in length and the third was three quarters of a mile long. Lights were recommended. I had planned to buy some lights but never got around to it. The trip to Wilton went well. We even made it through the first tunnel without lights. Bikers must walk bikes through the tunnels. Inside the tunnel the path was crowned and water dripping from the walls fed streams of water on either side of the path that were designed to take the water out of the tunnel. Barb's odometer turned 1,000 as we approached Wilton we lunched at Pies Are Square. Also a visit to the hardware store enabled me to purchase a flashlight. I now had determined we would go through the second tunnel and then on to Norwalk. Truthfully I had planned to go to the third tunnel (24 miles) and halfway into the tunnel before heading back to Elroy. Sparta was 8 more miles beyond the third tunnel. Barb thought, "What's another 8 miles?" (actually 16 round trip). I conceded thinking that we could do it with a break in Sparta and nourishment from perhaps some ice cream. The trip from the third tunnel to the Sparta end of the trail was all down hill. Unfortunately, the Sparta end of the trail did not end in Sparta, but short of Sparta. We had now biked at least 32 miles, more with the side trip into Wilton. No ice cream. Not even clean drinking water. What was she thinking? We now had an 8 mile climb back to the third tunnel where we would then get a little relief down hill. It was gruelling. Now we had envisioned Wilton where we would be assured of ice cream.

Left for dead
Barb's strength and her desire for ice cream soon put her out of my sight. With a mile left to go to reach the tunnel, I welcomed a small descent under a bridge, but something was amiss. Instead of being able to coast, I actually had to pedal. Something was not right. In the shade of the tunnel I examined my bike. I picked each wheel off the ground and spun it to find out where the drag on it was and to see what I might be able to do to fix it. I knew that I could not bike the remaining 25 miles in this condition. To my amazement, each wheel spun freely. The descent had been an optical illusion. I continued my trek. For all Barb knew, I could have been dead alongside the trail. I then heard her voice call my name. There she was, sitting in the shaded grass near a little hut that sold all the amenities bikers would desire on a long ride. Even ice cream. But our ice cream awaited us yet another 9 miles. We needed the incentive to continue.

We eventually made it to Wilton and enjoyed our ice cream. We were now a mere 15 miles from the end of the trail. Another 6 miles and we were going back through the first tunnel. This time we decided to ride the tunnel instead of walking it. This required my holding the flashlight with my left hand and peddling slowly while trying to light the path. Barb kept beckoning for me to slow down and warned that she thought I was too far left in the tunnel. I made an exclamation of surprise and warning. She took it to mean that I had definitely strayed too far left and was endanger of ending up in the stream. She countered by going to the right. Unfortunately she had been in the center of the trail. By the time she realized she had strayed to far right and attempted to put her right foot down to balance herself, there was nothing there for her foot to keep her upright. She had an encounter with the rough hewn wall and the stream. Her right arm was now almost totally incapacitated due to an injury to her elbow. Fortunately the three miles from the tunnel to Kendall were downhill. In Kendall she was able to clean her injury while I obtained antibiotic cream from the gas station, the only establishment in the town to sell such an item. The remaining 6 miles were unpleasant. But now we have the bragging rights for completing the Elroy-Sparta trail from one end to the other and back. My trip odometer read 69 miles as we approached our car. Never did we intend such a ride. Aside from the injury we suffered no other adverse side effects.

He ventured forth to bring light to the world

2008-07-25T22:47:00.002-04:00

I enjoyed this piece and thought that I would share it with those who might read my blog. The original post can be found at Times Online.

He ventured forth to bring light to the world

The anointed one's pilgrimage to the Holy Land is a miracle in action - and a blessing to all his faithful followers

Gerard Baker

And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.

The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.

When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”

In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.

And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.

He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the

Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.

And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.

From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.

And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.

And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.

From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.

In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.

As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.

And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.

The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.

And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.

Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.

And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.

Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.

But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.

And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.

Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.

On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.

And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”

The Smell Of War

2008-07-21T22:12:00.003-04:00

The king decided that he had little choice left but to enlist the services of Conibear The Mighty. He stationed Conibear at the entrance to the tunnel that Chuck of the Wood had made with the orders to kill anyone who dared pass in or out of the tunnel. It saddened the king that it had come to this.

Before long the report came to the king that Conibear had followed the kings orders. The king went to the southern border to verify that the report was true. The king found there the lifeless body not of Chuck of the Wood, but of his wife, Charlene of the Wood. The king was told by his advisor's that he should not release the services of Conibear and that Chuck of the Wood would likely come to the tunnel before long.

The war on the southern border seemed to be increasing. The king rested uneasy but knew that he could not back down or his kingdom would be over run. Why, later the same day that Conibear had fulfilled the kings orders, three of the enemy "of the Wood" had been seen in neighboring kingdoms.

As the morning sun prepared to rise on the kingdom, the king woke in his bed to the smell of war. He feared that another contingent had joined forces with Chuck of the Wood to lay siege to the kingdom. The king dressed as a pauper and journeyed to the southern border. On leaving the castle the smell of war was no longer in the air...until the king approached the border.

There from a distance he could see Conibear with another enemy in his clutches all but lifeless. The king knew that he must let Conibear finish the task and that any interference by the king could lead to dastardly consequences. Later that day, a coded message came to the king. "The kitty is dead". As the sun traversed the western sky, the king himself oversaw the burial of the one who had put up such a stink in battle with Conibear. The king ordered the tunnel filled and retired the services of Conibear.

May the dead rest in peace and their grave be un-desecrated. May there be peace on the southern border.

Thus it is written in the allegories of our leader.

All Four One

2008-07-13T20:51:00.005-04:00

It had been quiet in the kingdom of Heir-Olde for some time before the king noticed an intruder into the kingdom. The intruder was well adorned and quick on his feet. He on more than one occasion had peered through the big glass wall into the kings castle. This Munksketeer was soon to experience the wrath of the king. The king knew that a weakness of a Munksketeer was a certain delicacy. So he arranged to entrap him leading to certain death. What the king did not know was that the Munksketeers had a motto, "One for all and all for one". This though worked for his advantage, for not only was the intruder ensnared in his trap, three others as well. This pleased the king.

There had been During this same time, another attack on his kingdom was being waged. Chuck of the Wood had positioned himself just out side the border of the kingdom and had dug tunnels. The king feared that these tunnels would lead to his kingdom so he ordered that the 4 Munksketeers executioned be taken to the opening of this tunnel of Chuck of the Wood and placed there as a warning. The king fears though that Chuck of the Wood will not be deterred until war is waged and then enemy vanquished. A call is being sent out for one who will slay Chuck of the Wood. Who will come forth and take on this Whistlepig?

Thus it is recorded in the allegories of our leader.

Strawberry fields forev....

2008-07-06T16:56:00.003-04:00

I was munching on some All-Bran Strawberry Medley cereal (Crunchy bran flakes & squares with granola clusters & real strawberries) and decided to read the box to pass the time. I'm sure that we all are familiar with the fact that the ingredients start with the highest percentage and then work their way down. So it's not surprising to see Whole grain wheat, Wheat Bran and sugar as the 1st three ingredients. The fourth item was a Berry flavored oat cluster which was contained "Strawberry flavored apples". Coming in number seven was the Freeze Dried Strawberries. I guess I was a little surprised to find the "Strawberry flavored apples" higher in the ingredient list than the strawberries themselves. I'm not even sure why they couldn't have used actual freeze dried strawberries in the Berry Flavored Oat Cluster instead of apples flavored to taste like strawberries.

It's amazing what you find out about the food you eat when you read the ingredients.

Bike this way - Granger IN to Barron Lake MI

2008-06-30T16:22:00.005-04:00

Since I had a vacation day to use before July 1st, I went for a bike ride with my friend John Gardner. For him, it was a normal daily bike ride. For me it was an above normal bike ride but by no means a very long bike ride. Two hours, 24 miles and 20 wellness points.

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Gee, I bought a movie...two

2008-06-29T15:46:00.002-04:00

Now why would I buy a movie let alone two? I must be getting old. One reason to buy a movie is that I really like it and intend to watch it over and over. Another is that it could just be cost effective for me even if I only watch it once and I could watch it on my schedule without worrying about returning it. A third would be that it would be the only way I would be able to see the movie (French films aren't always in stock at the video store.)

I stopped by the Blockbuster near Notre Dame because I knew they generally had a large selection of previously viewed movies and some of them could tend to be foreign due to their clientele. Two movies for $20. I figure that the cost of gas plus tickets for Barb and I could easily exceed the $10 per movie if we saw it in the theater as a first run. Even if we saw it at the second run theater my cost could quickly eat up most of the $10. And if it's a foreign film that I would only be able to see at The Vicker's, I'm talking major cost savings even if I use my senior discount.

I happened to find two movies that I did feel worth a purchase, Ratatouille and Mr. Bean's Holiday. (Confession time. I already saw Ratatouille with my grandchildren at the second run theater.) A video purchase for the grandchildren is always a good expenditure of money. Not to mention the fact that I can now watch it possibly in French. :-) For any who might not be familiar with the movie, it is about a Rat in Paris that wants to be a famous chef.

Mr. Bean's Holiday I have not seen. I do like the Mr. Bean character and since this one takes place in France....

The intriguing item about these purchases though was that after their purchase I looked at their parental ratings. They both were G. I was astonished. I think that it is rare that a movie is created and ends up G. Some in the industry may think that the G rating would be the kiss of death for a movie so they would intentionally spice it up to get a PG or PG13 rating.

Well if you will excuse me, I have some special bonus features I want to watch on Ratatouille, another one of the reasons to buy the film rather than see it in the theater.

Nine Moles Mine

2008-06-21T09:00:00.003-04:00

It was 1850. Harold had traveled west to California where he would make his fortune in the Gold Rush. A gold vein had been struck and his mining ventures begun. The name of the mine would be Nine Moles Mine...oops. Wrong story.

The kingdom of Heir-olde was peaceful and plenty abounded. All who lived there had no want. But there were those who sought to destroy the kingdom and scar it. They sent moles there to spy out the kingdom. The moles would fill themselves on it's bounty and then return to send others there to ravage it. The king quickly tired of this invasion and posted a sentry in the south east region. The sentry's orders were to capture and kill those that would enter unlawfully there. Occasionally a mole would be captured and the king would preside over a quick trial where the mole had the opportunity to speak in his defense. Non were able to convince the king that their lives should be spared. It particularly irritated the king when a mole would escape the sentry. As the moles were executed, their remains were sent back across the border, but this did not stop them from coming. In this season the king proclaimed across the land "Nine Moles Mine, continue if you dare to spy out my land but be assured that your life will be required."

Thus it is recorded in the allegories of our leader.

Now what's that string for?

2008-06-10T07:57:00.002-04:00

Most of us older individuals and maybe even some of you younger ones know what the string on the finger is. It's a method of remembering something. You look at the string on your finger which you know is not normal and you associate it with something that you wanted to remember like "buy eggs". There are variations on the string on a finger. I tried using a variation this morning. As I was getting ready to come to work, I remembered something that I wanted to do when I got to work so I decided I would put my id card, which is used to swipe in and open the door to my office area, in my left pocket instead of my right pocket. That way when I went to swipe in, my card wouldn't be where it was supossed to be and I would remember what it was I wanted to remember.

As I approached the building this morning, I remembered that I put my id card in my left pocket and that I had put it there to remind me of something, but I couldn't remember what it was. Oh well, maybe I should have wrote a note, called and left a message at work, sent myself an e-mail or used Jott.

As things normally go, I will be nowhere near my office when I remember what it was.

We don't have a button for that

2008-05-15T22:14:00.004-04:00

"We don't have a button for that." That's the response Barb and I received at a local Subway when we attempted to redeem a coupon for a 10% discount for seniors. The Subway was located inside a gas station. I should have know better than to expect three young people to be able to run a gas station, make a sandwich and give me the advertised discount. It seems the only way these three young adults could give me my 10% discount was to do it through pushing a button on the cash register that would calculate the 10% discount and subtract it from the total. All they would have needed to know was a little math from grade school to do this. They would need to know how to multiply the sandwich value by .1 which is basically moving the decimal point one position to the left. Then they would need to know how to subtract.

Let's experiment. $3.97 * .1 = .39 (Okay, so it's actually .397 but I would allow them to truncate the fractions of cents) Now, $3.97 - $0.39 = $3.58. The didn't need a button, just a pencil and paper at the most. If they rounded the .397 up to .40 they should have been able to do it in their heads. But no, they needed the button that the proprietor had apparently disabled. Now, why would the proprietor disable the discount button and then advertise the discount?

Times sure have changed. Back in the early 70s I worked at McDonald's. I had many jobs during my tenure there at the "Golden Arches" on North Main St. in Elkhart IN. One of them was working the counter and taking orders. Back then we had a pad of paper and pencil to take the order and add up the cost. We then entered the total into the cash register, took the money and made change. The cash register did not tell us what the change should be, it only kept track of how much was added to the drawer. Times sure have changed.

If I were a mean sort of fellow, I'd go back to the Subway order the sandwich and then when they told me "We don't have a button for that." when I hand them the coupon, I'd tell them to keep the sandwich then.

Paging Passenger Rodgers

2008-04-03T07:49:00.002-04:00

We had arrived at the airport in plenty of time to catch an earlier flight to Phoenix. At check-in I inquired as to whether we might be able to take the earlier flight. Not a problem, just pay a small fee for the change. I gave them my credit card. The agent worked her magic and gave me my receipt and new tickets. Barb and I were off and would be arriving in Phoenix two hours earlier than expected. While waiting in the seating area, I hear over the speakers "Paging passenger Rodgers". Oh no. What could have gone wrong. Maybe we weren't going to get the earlier flight now. As I approach the counter I see the ticket agent who changed our flights walking toward me. She holds up my credit card. !!! I had left it at the front desk. I hadn't even realized that I had not gotten it back. I wouldn't have known until the next day when I would have used it. Thanks Sophia.

On the return trip home we checked in and walked the long walk back to where we would board our flight. I left our carry-on with Barb and headed off to the bathroom. Just as I was about to take care of business I hear over the speakers "Paging passenger Rodgers". The timing was lousy, but fortunately this time it was just to assign us our seats.

With Deals Like This

2008-03-09T22:36:00.007-04:00

With deals like this, on a website that peddles overstocked items, who couldn't make money? Buy low, sell higher. But is it really wise to tell them that you're doing that?

Back in the 60's I was a crossing guard. The Beatles were the rage and there was no lack of fans during Beatlemania. Early on, I would buy what amounted to "baseball cards" except for the Beatles. Hard piece of gum and all. I would buy them for $.05 and sell them for $.10 to girls that came by my crossing. It worked pretty good...for a few days. It didn't take them long to find out that I was price gouging.

Take It For A Spin

2008-02-24T14:25:00.005-05:00

I was in Meijer's last week and saw that powered toothbrushes by Crest were 50% off. They are called SpinBrush and normally selling for $5 and some change. So I picked up a couple of them. One was the ClassicClean and the other Slim. The ClassicClean has a round brush on the end that spins, but Slim looks like a normal brush that goes back and forth. Classic takes two batteries and Slim 1.

After I get home, I read the information included with the brush.
* It has a replaceable brush head. Cool.
* Batteries are replaceable. Cool.
* After every use, remove brush head and rinse thoroughly. Wait a minute. Why can't I just leave the brush head on and rinse thoroughly?
* Due to normal wear, it is recommended that the toothbrush be fully replaced after three months of use. Wait a minute. Replace the entire toothbrush in three months? Then why does it even have replaceable batteries? I'm not going to wear the batteries out that quick am I. Oh, wait, that's for the brush that doesn't have the replaceable brush head. Do you replace your regular toothbrush every three months? I don't. The dentist gives me one every six months, so I just use mine till I get a new one.

What I've found out since I've purchased them.
* I went back to purchase another Slim and almost all the Crest SpinBrushes were gone. It's like they were liquidating stock. I guess when you are liquidating you put stuff on sale for 50% off.
* The SpinBrush of Crest has been sold to Church & Dwight.
* It was Dr. Johns Products that developed the spinbrush not Crest.
* The round bristle on the end doesn't really spin. It "oscillates back and forth".

I'm so disillusioned I may just go back to my brush brush now that I've taken the spinbrush for a spin.

I Want To Get Physical

2008-02-17T16:09:00.004-05:00

You would think that you might be able to tell something about the job based on the Physical Requirements section of a job posting.

Physical Requirements:
Stronger than a locomotive. Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Faster than a speeding bullet.

Those are pretty straightforward physical requirements. But what about the following that was recently posted with a job posting?

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS
Sits, listens, sees and uses hands to grasp, handle or feel 50 to over 75% of the time.
Pulling, pushing, walking, carrying and talking are required up to 50% of the time.
Must be able to lift 0 pounds frequently and up to 40 pounds up to 25% of the time.
Must possess close, clear vision at 20 inches or less, ability to see and discern colors, peripheral vision and depth perception.

So, does the "uses hands to grasp, handle or feel" belong directly with the 50-75% of the time? I might want to know first what I'm grasping, handling or feeling before I commit to this job.

From the description, it seems that I'll be sitting, listening and feeling something half the time and the other half of the time I'll be pushing it, pulling it and talking to it. Maybe it's a parent to you, but it's not apparent to me.

And what's up with the ability to lift 0 pounds frequently? Anyone not able to do that?

Maybe it's the fault of government and regulations that require us to boilerplate our job descriptions so that our butts are covered if someone decides to stick it to us. But really, wouldn't the following be more helpful?

PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS
The ability to operate in a normal office environment. On occasion must be able to lift items weighing up to 40 pounds.

Then again, that's not as entertaining.

Birdie, birdie in the sky

2008-02-15T07:15:00.004-05:00

Every time there is a bird in a direct vertical relationship to me this poem comes to mind.

Birdie, birdie in the sky.
Dropped some white stuff in my eye.
I don't cuss. I don't cry.
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.

The other day as I left the office to meet some previous co-workers for lunch I heard a flock of birds chirping. A little unusual for this time of year I thought. I looked up and ahead aways and there was what looked like a scene from "Birds" right above the sidewalk that I was headed down.

I wondered about the wisdom of walking under all those birds but thought, "they're just resting. It's when they take off that things begin to fly." As long as I didn't rouse them, I should be fine.

As I passed underneath, I felt something hit the top of my head. It wasn't an acorn. Something more in the form of liquid I thought. I didn't put my hand up there to rub it through the wet spot. What if it was bird poop? I trusted though that perhaps it was melting snow or something from the tree. It didn't feel thick enough to be bird poop.

Could you imagine though going to lunch with old friends with bird poop on your head? The waitress glancing occasionally at the top of your head. Then back to the office with your fellow workers.

That night as I brushed my teeth Barb asked, "what's that white stuff in your hair?"

House, A Rest?

2008-02-07T21:05:00.000-05:00

I'm now ending what has essentially been four weeks of "house arrest" and the irony is that the crime was committed against me. For the last four weeks it's like I've had an ankle bracelet that would notify the authorities if I walked any further than the mailbox. There were times early on I wouldn't even venture that far. Toward the end of the sentence I did receive some reprieve and was allowed to go out to a restaurant for a meal, chaperoned of course.

For most of this time, I have worked from home. Ah, the benefits of being in Information Technology and having a high speed internet connection at home. Many of you probably think that working from home would provide me a great opportunity for rest and major benefits. Yeah, I guess so. It certainly saved on the time I would spend getting ready for work. I could sleep in longer since I didn't have a 15 minute commute to work. I still showered, shaved and dressed for work. It was nice having a fully stocked kitchen nearby for a snack or lunch. The down side is that I didn't take up as much time in breaks. Usually at work, I would take a morning break. Not so here at home. I didn't have the 15 minute commute home from work, but that meant that I should probably begin preparing the dinner meal. So, working from home wasn't a big rest from work. It was an enjoyable experience under the circumstances but I am looking forward to getting back to a normal work environment.

Endnote: We have eliminated one of the usual suspects. Mon Bureau has been cleared of any involvement in my attack.

The Usual Suspects

2008-01-31T12:53:00.000-05:00

I was attacked and left barely breathing. My assailant came from out of no where and I didn’t see him. When medical professionals saw me they moved quickly. My hypoxic condition called for an immediate CT scan, blood work and bronchoscopy. Before I knew it I was in a hospital gown with family and my pastor around me. Would I make it? Was I on my way out? Soon they had placed a surgical mask on me and were wheeling me down the halls. Once we made it to the operation room, my mask came off and theirs went on. Soon the anesthesia had kicked in. Through the anesthesia I remembered struggling to breath and the nurse telling me to swallow. The end was near.

For the next two hours I babbled nonsense while Barb and her mom attended me. Despite my proclamations that I could drive home, Barb drove me home in my dazed state.

Now that I’m on my way to recovery, it’s time to identify my assailant so that appropriate action can be taken. The professionals indicate that my assailant was Aureo Basidium (Sounds foreign to me. I wonder if he’s an illegal.) and that he undoubtedly had an accomplice.

The usual suspects are presented to me.
Mon Bureau (sounds French)
Tannenbaum (German I think)
Nick Pallow (Sweedish)
Humi DeFier
Kahm Pohst
Woody Pyle

I recognized each of them and found it had to believe that one or more of them could have been an accomplice in my attack.

On a daily basis I’ve worked with Mon Bureau could he possibly have turned on me in recent days?

Nick Pallow a recent friend with whom I spend significant time. Could he have simply been gaining my trust in the months before the attack?

Humi DeFier one of Barb’s friends who initially stirred up some dust but had settled down prior to the attack after we had started serving him distilled water.

Kahm Pohst has been around for a couple of years, but we’ve never had him in the house and I’ve not spent any time with him since the weather has turned cold.

Woody Pyle has been around for years and we occasionally invite him in to share a warm fire with us. But it had been weeks prior to the attack that we’d had any contact.

Tannenbaum we invited to come live with us just after Thanksgiving. He was a welcome guest up until the day after Christmas when we kicked him out of the house. It was shortly after his departure that I was attacked. Unfortunately he was picked up for vagrancy and will probably not bee seen again nor will we have the chance to question him regarding the attack.

Aureo Basidium is most certainly the one responsible, but he could not have done it without an accomplice. He will never be caught, but if we could identify his accomplice we could keep him from another attack.

At this time there is not enough evidence to charge any of them as accomplices in the attack. From this point forward though I will be keeping a close eye on each of them and at the first indication they may have been involved I’m taking them out.

$15 Blanket

2008-01-27T14:14:00.000-05:00

Back in 1997 we took what was our "last family vacation". This was before Emily and Andrea graduated college or became married. We spent a few days at Disney World. One of those days we spent at Epcot Center. At the end of that day we were waiting around for the final laser light show. Despite being Florida, it was getting cold. I slipped into the Mexican pavilion and purchased a $15 blanket which then all four of us huddled inside as we watched the laser light show.

During the last three weeks, this blanket has been my companion much of the time. I'm sure I looked the stereotype of a senior citizen sitting in my recliner with a blanket covering me.

Thursday we bought a $200 blanket. The thing about this blanket though is that it will only last ten days and then it's gone. Why would anyone buy a blanket that's only going to last 10 days and at the price I paid? I was told to. My pulmonologist prescribed an antibiotic that was basically a blanket to cover a multitude of possibilities.

I'm not sure anyone will really know if this $200 blanket will have done any good considering that it's probably a viral pneumonia that has plagued me. But I do know that my $15 Mexican blanket has provided me with warmth and comfort and will continue to do so long after my $200 blanket is gone.

Slow Motion

2008-01-19T16:23:00.000-05:00

I remember as a young boy occasionally play fighting and we would go into slow motion while we continued the scene. It must have been an influence from tv. I don't imagine little girls had any such comparable experience.

For the last couple of weeks, I have been living life in slow motion. In fact much of the time as been spent in no motion. I have developed pneumonia of which the worst part is getting winded easily. The simplest of daily activities leaves me huffing and puffing to catch my breath.

I read where pneumonia can last 2-4 weeks and after two weeks I have not seen any improvement in getting winded. I continue to live life in slow motion. I'm hoping for a dramatic change one of these days. The sooner, the better.

During this time I have learned that many of those around me have also at some time struggled with pneumonia and can empathize with my plight. I in turn can now empathize with them.

Perhaps for me, this is the beginning of realizing that I am indeed getting old.

Sleeping My Way To Weight Loss: Reality

2008-01-11T17:27:00.000-05:00

Back in October of 2007 I put forward a theory that sleeping longer would lead to loosing weight.
Link to the Original post

Well, I have had the opportunity to test the theory and....It works! Since Tuesday of this week I have been getting an extra 4 hours of sleep per day. And I have at this time lost up to 6 lbs. Amazing! Unfortunately, it puts a cramp on making a living. Lest any of you think that I was just being lazy, I am having a bout with Acute Bronchitus. (I'm sure glad I got the cute one rather than the ugly one.) The best thing for this is rest.

Okay, so maybe the loss of appetite and minimal consumption played a part in it, but I think my theory is sound provided you don't overeat.

HIGH def

2008-01-05T15:58:00.000-05:00

Back in the 60's I remember seeing movie theater marquees lobbying against "Pay Television". I saw these and wondered "Who would pay for tv? It's free." Well, some 40 years later I'm one of those paying for TV. There was no way back then that I could imagine all the different offerings available via cable or satellite services.

Congress has mandated a move to DTV Feb. 17 2009. No longer are analog tvs being sold. Pretty much the only type of tv you can purchase is an HDTV. Now our cable and satellite services are charging more for their HDTV offerings. Somehow I'm feeling a little taken having to pay higher prices for HDTV.

Maybe we should just count it up to my old age.

Christmas Lights, Christmas Love

2007-12-28T12:44:00.000-05:00

Each year right after Thanksgiving I haul down the icicle lights from above the garage, check to make sure they are still working, brave the extension ladder to the peak of the roof and hang those lights in what is generally cold weather. Then shortly after Christmas I reverse the process and brave the extension ladder in what is generally cold icy weather, try to remove the lights without breaking the plastic clips that attach them to the gutters or shingles, try to get the lights back into plastic bags (the light strands have become stiff from being in the cold and do not like to bend quite so easy) and then haul them back up into the storage space above the garage.

The lights look so nice on the house during this season and the reason I do it is because I love....Barb. Even though they look nice on the house, I seriously question whether they would be up if it were not for the fact that I love Barb and want to please her.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Earworm

2007-12-24T08:03:00.001-05:00

Saturday morning I turned on the TV and watched TV5 for a bit. It was children's programming in French. Then on came a music video. It was called Funny Bear. It became and earworm. I walked around the house singing it. Come to find out it's also known as Gummibar and Gummie Bear. It's been recorded in several languages and has been popular on the web. For those who have not yet had the pleasure, here is the short French version.

If you have trouble with it playing here on my blog, here is the link to You Tube.
Funny Bear

There is also a longer version on You Tube that has different video.

Stalking Tannenbaum

2007-11-29T22:30:00.000-05:00

I just had to post a video from three years ago. By the way, live trees are more environment friendly than artificial trees. Oh Christmas tree, oh green Christmas tree

Auto Entertainment Rewind

2007-11-29T21:54:00.000-05:00

The other night on my way home from work I followed a van that was playing a dvd for the kids in the back seat.

Rewind 3 years. Harold buys his first car that has a CD player.

Rewind 4 years. Harold buys a portable CD player that will connect to his cassette player in his mini-van.

Fast rewind. Harold buys a car that has a cassette player.

Rewind. Harry buys a car that has AM/FM Stereo.

Rewind to 1968 Harry buys a car that has an AM radio.

Rewind a couple years. Harry is trying to figure out how he can play his LPs in the car without the needle skipping every few seconds due to bumps in the road. He never figured it out. But his thinking was forward thinking.

Fast forward to present. I no longer play cassettes in the mini-van...but I do connect my mp3 player to the car stereo via a cable from it to the cassette player.

Got to see my lawyer when he leaves this world

2007-11-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

What has our society turned into? My previous post discussed the song lyrics of a young man who lost his girlfriend in a tragic accident. This mornings news writes of daughter who lost her father along with his wife, " Who Died First". The daughter is trying to make the claim that in the car accident her father's wife died first therefore her estate should pass to her father where it would then be divided amongst her and her two siblings.

It gets worse.
Her father's wife has two children that would be deprived of any inheritance if this were to occur.

It gets worse.
The accident was the result of her father's drunken reckless driving.

It gets worse.
Initially she was content with the way the estate was going to be settled. These legal proceedings didn't begin until 18 months after the accident.

Can it get any worse?

Got to be good

2007-11-09T07:46:00.000-05:00

Oh where oh were could my baby be
The lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We hadn't driven very far
There in the road
Straight ahead
A car was stalled the engine was dead
I couldn't stop
So I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screamin tires
The busting glass
The Painfull scream that I heard last.

Oh where oh were could my baby be
The lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I've got to be good
So I can see my baby when I'll leave this world

Do you recognize those lyrics? Ah, but from what artist?
Pearl Jam
Cavaliers
Ozzy Osbourne

If you answered Cavaliers, then you're probably a baby boomer.
If you answered Pearl Jam then you're much younger than a boomer.
If you answered Ozzy Osbourne, then it's time to expand you need to see a therapist.

I heard this song "Last Kiss" on the way to work this morning listening to the Oldies station. Of course, at this time in life you tend to evaluate the lyrics more than when you were in your teens.

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
Obviously not current day. Who drives their "daddy's" car these days. It's probably a mini-van anyway. And "daddy"? Who today would refer to their father as their "daddy" when talking to anyone other than perhaps the closest of family?

The screamin tires
The busting glass
I can sympathize with the fact that there was a stalled car in the road, but I'm going to guess he may have been going faster than he should have been. the stalled car was straight ahead. It's not like it was on "deadman's curve". He's a teenager right? He has a girl in the front seat. Back then the front seat on daddy's cars went all the way across the front. They called them bench seats. My guess is that his "baby" was sitting right next to him and I doubt that she, or he, was wearing a seat belt. I even question if they were available back then (1964). I'm wondering if some of the responsibility lies with him for the accident.

I'm a little hesitant to agree with him that "The Lord took her away" but I'm going to have to downright disagree that "She's gone to heaven so I got to be good so I can see my baby when I leave this world." I have no basis of knowing whether heaven was her final destination, but he is mistaken that for him to also get there he has to "be good". I'm probably being too hard on him. My position is that it's faith not works that yields the end result. I should be glad that he concedes that there is an after life and it does involve heaven and another not named possibility. That's better than trying to imagine an existence where heaven and hell do not exist.

With all that said, I probably prefer the lyrics of yesteryear.

Dream On

2007-10-24T08:01:00.000-04:00

I love to dream. I even realized the other day that I do dream in color. I just wish I could remember the dreams better.

This morning I was awakened by my lovely wife Barb in the middle of a dream. Wouldn't it be nice if there was a way to have a "Do not disturb - dreaming" indicator that would delay an alarm clock from going off or your spouse from awakening you until the dream is over? Dreams can't last that long...can they?

While we're on the topic of dreams, it would be fantastic to have the ability to record and playback dreams. Just think what it would be like to share some of those great dreams with others, and maybe a few nightmares as well.

Sleeping My Way to Weight Loss: Dream On

2007-10-14T21:06:00.000-04:00

Maybe you didn't buy in fully to my initial theory on sleeping your way to weight loss. Perhaps this one will be a little more convincing.

Have you ever had a dream, possibly even a nightmare, where you were physically active and awoke exhausted? Your body exhibiting attributes of what you would expect if it had actually happened. Let's say you're fighting a fire breathing dragon. It's a dream. We need a little fantasy. You battle the dragon with all your might. Imagine the amount of calories you would burn fighting a dragon. Well, It's my theory that you actually did burn those calories. Calories burnt = weight lost. All we need to do now is to harness what it is we dream about. Some of you may opt to actually dream about exercising. Boring. Me, I'm going to dream about flying, soaring high and then swooping down and pulling up just before reaching the tree tops. This will be my warm up during my first REM period. I'll slay a dragon and rescue a damsel in distress for my main work out. For my cool down, I'll ski the virgin slopes of a snow covered mountain.

Disclaimers:
I am not responsible for any injury incurred during dreamercise.
Please consult your wellness program before recording points for exercise during dreamercise.
Nightmares could occur.

Sleeping my way to weight loss

2007-10-09T07:48:00.001-04:00

I need to loose a few pounds. How I do that is the problem. We all know that to loose weight you must exercise more and eat less. What a choice. I think though, that I have discovered another way, sleep more. I have observed on a consistent basis that each night I loose about two pounds while I sleep during an eight hour period. The problem is that I gain those two pounds back during the day. Here's my plan. If sleeping eight hours causes me to loose two pounds, then sleeping an extra 4 hours will cause me to loose an extra pound. That will be a loss of three pounds per day and then my normal routine will at the most cause me to gain back two pounds providing me with a net gain of one pound per night. I might even loose more since I've less time to gain it back during the day. Now, if I could just combine listening to books on CD while I sleep, I'll be smart and fit.

Do not disturb.

Fin de la Fruit Fly

2007-09-23T22:46:00.000-04:00

Recently a number of fruit flies decided to show up uninvited. We couldn't identify any specific reason they were there, but they were not welcome.

Had they been chipmunks, they would have quickly met their demise pursuing what they thought to be a bucket of seeds. Moles, the Juicy Fruit worm or loop trap. But fruit flies? How do you get rid of fruit flies? A quick internet search provided a possible solution. A paper funnel leading into a jar with red wine vinegar. Before long, there were fruit flies in the jar...but they were still alive. And when I went to dispose of them, they outwitted me and made their escape.

It was Barb who arrived at the successful solution. A small jar with a bit of apple cider vinegar and a drop of dish detergent to break the tension of the vinegar. They flew in, landed on the liquid and soon drowned. Much like my chipmunk trap. If I was a fruit fly, I would have found the jar appealing to the eye as well as the nose. Do fruit flies have noses? They must. They smell. Unless of course they smell with a different part of their anatomy.

Beware all ye varmints who enter here.

Big Oil Conspiracy

2007-09-09T22:38:00.000-04:00

I like the convenience of having my oil changed by someone else. I like it better when it's only $9.95. That's what Gates Chevy World charged me the last time I got my oil changed, which happened to be the first time I got it changed there. I had heard that they offered a great deal on oil changes. I imagine they make up the difference in finding other things to do with your vehicle like...changing your disk brakes. Anyway, my philosophy on oil changes is 3 months or 3,000 miles, which ever is longer. Well, the 3 month's ended a week ago. So did the 3,000 miles. On the same day. That has never happened before. Usually the 3,000 miles is longer. I'm beginning to get a little suspicious. Ten dollar oil change, 3 months and 3,000 miles arrive on the same day. Maybe this is a dream, or reality is being controlled by ... the auto industry? No, it must be BIG OIL. It's not possible that it's just a coincidence that gas is currently $3 a gallon and that September is the 9th month (3x3=9) and that the oil change is now $9.99. Something big is about to happen! It's all coming into alignment! That's why I'm delaying my oil change. Maybe I can disrupt the forces.

_{(Okay, I fudged when I just said that the oil change was now $9.99. It just seemed to work so well into my conspiracy theory. But it doesn't mean that my conclusion is wrong. Right Dan? Or would you rather not say?)}

Labor Day

2007-09-03T20:38:00.000-04:00

Labor Day. For many it's a day away from labor. That's what I had intended. Sleep in a little, go for a 13 mile bike ride, relax. For the most part, that's what I did. That's what I had hoped for my lovely wife Barb as well. She started her day with a three mile run. Then she went with me for a 13 mile bike ride. Then we were to return home and work for an hour doing some reorganization in the basement. Saturday evenings washer malfunction made this a good time to begin working on organizing the storage room in the basement. Friday night on my way to bed, I noticed that there was water on the laundry room floor. I quickly got some towels to clean up the water. I also noticed that it was going down the floor vent. A trip to the basement showed me where the rest of the water went. The discharge hose on the washer had come apart so instead of going down the waste pipe. It went on the floor and into the basement. Barb's hour turned into four or more hours. For her, it was indeed a Labor Day.

Blast From the Past

2007-09-03T20:35:00.003-04:00

This is a photo from the mid 70s while I was at Bethel. As a commuter I sometimes would play a little table tennis between classes. This was in the Acorn which was then located in the basement of Shupe.

Off to College

2007-08-26T15:20:00.000-04:00

As we drove home from work the other day, we saw Bob Evans advertising "Off to college gift card". And I thought to myself, "What college student is going to want a Bob Evans gift card?". Wouldn't Best Buy, Circuit City, McDonald's or even Goodwill been a better option for gift cards? I'm sure there are a few college students out there that would have made use of it, but when I think of Bob Evans, I think of the older generations. Give them something they will use. It's like me giving Barb a gift certificate to The Vicker's. It's something I would use, but she wouldn't get much use out of it.

Black is Black

2007-08-25T16:25:00.000-04:00

Black is black, I want my baby back.
It's grey, it's grey, since she went away.
Oh-oh, what can I do??
'cause I-I-I-I-I,
I'm feelin' blue.

So the song by Los Bravos in 1966 went.

My version...

Black is black, I want my black socks back.
They're blue, they're blue, what shall I do?
Oh-ho, what can I do??
'cause I-I-I-I-I,
I'm seein' blue.

Some time ago, I bought a pair of black socks to go with my black shoes. In fact I bought a few pair of them. I also purchased blue socks to go with my blue pants somewhere along the line.

Now the other day, I put on my black socks, black pants and black shoes. Later on that day, Barb commented on my wearing Navy Blue socks with black pants. Huh? I didn't want to admit it, but they did look Navy Blue with my black pants. I hadn't noticed this before. So, the next time, I wear the same socks with my blue pants. Now they looked black. ??? What's up? Is this some kind of chameleon sock that I have that changes it's color so as not to match what I'm wearing? I'm not sure what to wear these socks with any more.

iPod Nirvana

2007-08-12T16:12:00.000-04:00

An iPod is a great way to pass time, particularly on a long trip like a train ride to or from Chicago. The trip between South Bend and Chicago is a 2.5 hour trip with numerous stops along the way. About 35 minutes before arriving in South Bend with only the Hudson Lake stop between us and the end of the line, a young man removed the iPod ear buds and asked the conductor how far to the Michigan City Carroll Street stop. The conductor explained that we had already passed that stop and asked if the young man fell asleep. The response was no, he was listening to his iPod, so he did not hear his stop announced. His only option now was to complete the trip to South Bend and wait for the next train towards Chicago and get off in Michigan City. I hope it was a good artist he was listening to. It cost him 2 additional hours to what is an hour and a half trip from Chicago.

33rd Year of Honeymoon

2007-08-04T19:40:00.000-04:00

Barb and I celebrated our 33rd wedding anniversary this weekend. I had been attempting to plan a trip that we could take, but it never got off the ground. Barb's brother Tom was celebrating his 50th birthday the day before our anniversary, so we combined the two celebrations and met him in Indianapolis. We arrived late afternoon. At 8:00pm we dined on the rooftop of Dunaway's. I ordered the salad that came with Hazelnut Crusted Goat Cheese. Magnifigue! We dined as the sunset over the city skyline. Tres romantic!

The next morning we biked the Monon and Fall Creek Greenway trails. The 26 mile ride was enjoyable particularly the Fall Creek Greeneway.

After the bike hike we walked to City Market for lunch and then on to the Circle where the Jaguar Clubs of North America was holding it's Challenge Championship. I think I'd look good driving one of these.

While at the Circle, we decided to take the elevator to the top of the State Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument. It was hot! (Not the Paris Hilton definition of hot, but the weatherman definition of hot.) All the hot air from the monument traveled to the top where there were no vents to let it out. Maximum time for staying at the top would be 1-2 minutes unless you were into the sauna experience.

Then a trip to Boca Loca Beads for Barb. I was unable to find any Czech pressed-glass coins, but Barb found some Afgan Jade.

Finally an evening dinner at the Canterbury. Tonight I ordered the Heirloom Tomato and Chevre salad. (More goat cheese.)

The trip home included a stop at Bailey's Discount Center in North Judson. An interesting stop. I might describe it as a Sam's Club for rednecks. (No membership required.) We did walk out with some great deals. I got an $18 value for $0.99 and it's something I will use!

The final stop on this trip was the Rodger's Reunion in Knox where we renewed friendships and had an enjoyable time. Somehow, my father has managed to make him and myself the official auctioneers of the reunion. I'm not an auctioneer! I didn't even sleep at a Holiday Inn Express last night! The auction is a way to fund the reunion. Items from Whoopie Cushions to old family photo's and memorabilia are donated.

When we pulled into the garage back home, our trip odometer read 333.3. Coincidence on this our 33rd anniversary...I think not.

Gas Jack

2007-07-31T22:53:00.001-04:00

Within 1/1000th of getting a Gas Jack.

Dilemow

2007-07-31T22:27:00.000-04:00

I'm one of those guys that mows my lawn in a different direction each time. I alternate between vertical, diagonal, horizontal and diagonal | / - \. I also divide my lawn into 3 zones for mowing; front, back and side. This last Saturday was the day for diagonal heading to the south-west (/). I had finished the front and a quarter of the back yard when I decided that I would take advantage of the way the shade was falling and do the side yard before completing the back. As I was navigating the 19 trees in the side yard I realized that what I had mowed of the back yard I had done diagonal to the south-east (\). Now what was I going to do?
1) mow the entire back yard diagonal to the south-east
2) mow the back yard diagonal to the south-west going over what I had already mowed
3) mow the remainder of the back yard diagonal south-west
What would you have done and why?

Gas Jack

2007-07-17T12:51:00.001-04:00

In Las Vegas they have Black Jack where you can loose large sums of money. Here, we have similar entertainment where you loose large sums of money. I'm not talking about the gambling sites that are in the area, I'm talking about hundreds of locations that you pass everyday. You are already spending big bucks when you visit them, why not have a little fun at the same time? I'm talking about gas stations. It's a little game I call Gas Jack. All you need to play is a credit or debit card which you probably already use to get your gas, a car that's in need of some fuel and a pay at the pump gas station. Here's how you play: 1) pre-determine a gallon or dollar amount that you are going to attempt to stop the pump at. Only whole dollar or even gallon measurements allowed. 2) Start filling the tank without using the auto shut off. 3) Only the first stop of the pump is allowed. 4) No fair slowing the flow of gas to make it easier to hit your pre-determined goal. Here is an example of my recent play. My goal was 8 gallons. I overshot my target by .004 which isn't bad. Send me your entry that comes closer than mine and I'll post it. I'll set up two categories to play, gallons or dollars.

First Love

2007-07-11T21:47:00.000-04:00

She was eight years my senior. She wasn't as attractive as others, in fact she was a little larger than most. The other guys would snicker when we came around, but I still loved her. I affectionately called her Snow White. There were times our relationship needed a little push to get going nevertheless I was always willing to give it my all. Even though it's been over thirty three years since we parted ways, I think of her every now and then and wish that I'd never let her go. She was a 1960 Studebaker Lark station wagon.

Amish Spice? Week 2

2007-07-10T22:26:00.000-04:00

Day 8 - Prepare a candlelit bubble bath.

Candlelit is the only way we take baths, and if I was to make bubbles in it, I'd be in a heap of trouble.

Day 9 - Leave a trail of Hershey Kisses to a secret rendezvous spot. She will enjoy the hunt for YOU! When your spouse arrives give her a foot massage.

The Hershey Kisses melted in the heat. When she found me, her bare feet were covered in chocolate. No way was I going to massage those feet. She made me pick up all the little foil wrappers.

Day 10 - Write your sweetie a love letter. Give it to her with a hug and kiss before going to work.

I'm not much at writing. I'll skip this one.

Day 11 - Book a bed & breakfast for a surprise weekend getaway.

We are a bed & breakfast. Why should I pay for what we have every weekend?

Day 12 - Spend a night without TV. Spend time with each other. Play cards or a board game. Work a puzzle.

What's so special about this? This is what we do every night.

Day 13 - Resolve to go one day without arguing, nagging, etc. Grab your spouse for five or ten minutes.

She won't get any work done if I hold on to her that long.

Day 14 - Pack a picnic dinner, go to a romantic spot together and watch the sunset.

I guess we could do this. Those english. Always wanting to be like us.

Amish Spice? Week 1

2007-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

Back in May I created a post about a motivational seminar I attended. At that seminar was an Amish family. Everyone received a "Get Motivated" workbook. In that workbook is the article "How to Spice Up Your MARRIAGE In Two Weeks." I want to put myself in the place of the amishman as he reads this article.

Day 1 - Ask your spouse out on a date. Make the destination a surprise. Dress up and put on cologne. Go outside and ring the doorbell to pick up your date (or get a limo!)

I'm not much into dressing up. I don't have any cologne. Doorbell? Maybe I better start with day 2.

Day 2 - After a night of romance, get up early and make your spouse's favorite breakfast. Now make your dramatic entrance as you serve your spouse breakfast in bed!

I get up early every morning! It's not a man's place to make breakfast. Why would she even want to eat it in bed. Maybe I better start with day 3.

Day 3 - Put sticky notes inside her car that say "I love you."

Car? We don't own such a thing. I wonder if the buggy would work? Maybe I better just go to day 4.

Day 4 - Buy tickets or a gift certificate for you and your spouse to do something that your spouse really loves.

Don't need no tickets to have Floyd drive us up to Granger for the Garage Sales. I do this every weekend. I better move on.

Day 5 - Give your partner a full-body massage. Play soft music and concentrate on being slow and gentle.

She already has a full-body. No need making it any fuller by giving her a massage. I never thought about playing the "juice harp" slow and gentle. Most of the music I know has a little beat to it.

Day 6 - Send flowers.

Why she has all the flowers she needs in the garden. She would think I was some kind of fool to pay somebody to bring her flowers she already has.

Day 7 - Look up your partner's favorite show and turn on the TV before she even approaches the remote control.

Looks like today is shot. It's been a whole week and all I've been able to do is play my "juice harp". Maybe next week will be better.

Private Lives

2007-06-19T21:34:00.001-04:00

I know that many of you could care less about what's happening in France, but a recent news piece caught my attention and has applications to where we are as a society.

France and the United States have more in common than you may think. We have an immigration problem, they have an immigration problem. Our politics are sharply split between right and left, theirs is split sharply between right and left.

Within the last month they had their presidential elections. On the right, Nicolas Sarkosy. On the left, popular socialist Segolene Royal. France electing a woman president was about to happen. Fortunately for the United States, Nicolas Sarkosy won a decisive victory. Now, less than a month after the elections, Segolene Royal and her "partner" are separating. In addition to the fact that Segolene and the father of her four children never married is the fact that he, was also the leader of the Socialist Party. I've always thought that to be a conflict of interest.

Now that you have the background, here is a quote from Francois Holland (Segolene's ex-partner and father of her children) from news source Expatica

"I have always sought to separate politics, which must have principles, rules and foundations, from private life which must be protected," Hollande said in a radio interview.

When I read that I thought "If Francois had treated his private life with 'principles, rules and foundations', he might not be in the situation he is in now." As a side note, not too long ago Segolene and Francois had contemplated marriage.

We must swim against the tide of the left and instill our private lives with principles, rules and foundations and in doing so we will protect our private lives.

Love & Money

2007-06-18T07:48:00.000-04:00

Since my Jr. High School days I've attended church. I've seen my share of offerings over the years. The term "Love Offering" is nothing new. But yesterday when I heard the term again on the radio during an advertisement for a singing group at a local church, I got to thinking. Why do they call it a "Love Offering"? Should I only give if I "Love" the performance or "Love" them? What if I only liked it? Wouldn't it be better to call it a "Like Offering"? If it's a "Love Offering" and I really don't "Love" them am I lying if I give? Why can't they just call it an "Offering" and leave off any adjectives?

Maybe I misunderstand it all. Maybe it's "they love offerings" so it's a "Love Offering".

Flying The 'Not So' Friendly Skies

2007-05-30T22:14:00.000-04:00

After a few hours of sleep I was up and on my way to the airport at 4:00am for a 6:00am flight. We're suppossed to be there two hours early for domestic flights right? I guess I should have checked this out. I arrived at the airport at about 4:20am and the airline's check in was not open yet. About 5:00am the kiosks came to life and I got my bording pass. No need to check my bag since I had emptied my travel case of all the shampoo, conditioner and hand lotion I had accumulated during the last week and a half of vacation. I was going to be Mr. Efficient this morning. No need to wait for my luggage at the other end. In and out....Wait a minute. I still had a can of shaving cream. And it was larger than 3oz. If you know where I can get a can of shaving cream that is 3oz or less, let me know. I could do without the shaving cream. I'm still good....ooops. My hairspray bottle is larger than 3oz. But there was probably less than 3oz of spray in it. Should I chance it? Could I do without the hair spray...Mmmmm, better not. So back to the Airline desk which now had a healthy line. I figured it was better to check my bag. Finally back to the concourse. Coins, cell phone, shoes and belt into the little container to go through X-ray. There I was, holding my bording pass in one hand and my pants up with the other. The TSA agent asked for my boarding pass before I could pass through the metal detector. "Hold it boys. This guy's in the wrong concourse. Send his stuff back." What? South Bend Regional Airport has more than one concourse?

Okay, now off to the lesser known concourse. There a little old lady was trying to combine three plastic bags of 3oz liquids into one. As I walked by her and the TSA agent to strip down and go through the metal detector, the TSA reminded me that "she" had to see my id and boarding pass. So I step back into line behind the little old lady shuffling 3oz's of liquid from plastic bag to plastic bag. Finally though I made it through the check point and was able to put myself back together.

Now, I'm sitting in Concourse C, the lesser concourse, and decide to read the little boarding pass holder that the ticketing agent gave me when I checked my carry on bag. Under the CONDITIONS OF CONTRACT it says, '"ticket" means this passenger ticket..."Carriage" is equivalent to "transportation," "carrier" means all air carriers...' Why couldn't they just use "transportation" to refer to "transportation"? Why do they need to use the word "carriage"?

Some examples of it's usage.
Carriage hereunder is subject to the ruls and limitations...
...unless such carriage is not "International Carriage" as defined by...
An air carrier issuing a ticket for carriage...
...whose aircraft is used by carrier for carriage and its agents...
This ticket is good for carriage for one year from the date of issue...
The fare for carriage herunder...

Read it again and this time replace the word "carriage" with "transportation". Wouldn't that be more readable? Do they really need to make it hard to understand?

No nail clippers. Take your shoes off. Take your belt off. Only liquids less than 3oz and then they have to be in a clear plastic bag. Is this really making carriage safer?

Get Motivated

2007-05-13T15:50:00.000-04:00

This one's for you Jonathon. (Yes, there actually are people who read my blog.)

Recently I attended a "Get Motivated Seminar". I learned that you have to believe that you already have what it is you want. Why should I be happy in my current position as Director of Administrative Computing? I should aspire to higher levels. How about CIO? Well, Bethel doesn't have a CIO position. (Negative thought, discard) So, here's my plan. I'll start dressing like a CIO by wearing one of those expensive Italian suits. Then, I'll get a Mercedes Benz CLK63 AMG Black Series Coupe which represents the synergy of racecar performance and roadcar driveability. It's a sanctuary of speed and luxury. Oh yeah! Check it out. CLK63 AMG Black Series Coupe

Then I'll buy a home in Granger...wait a minute. I already have a home in Granger. I'll come in to work an hour late, leave for the afternoon to play a round of golf, schedule a trip to Hawaii to check out options for connectivity for a possible future campus. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Harold! You're going to get yourself fired and find yourself in incredible debt." The seminar addressed that. I was able to enroll in a program that would make me incredibly wealthy. Normally the cost would have been $10,000. But I got it for a mere $1,500. Okay, so there's a $600 annual cost. Not to worry, I'm going to be rich! All I have to do is to pick a company that represents something I'm interested in, log on to this web site wait for three green arrows then BUY!, wait for three red arrows then SELL! And keep doing that over and over and over. Hold on. If all I need to know is green arrow, red arrow, why does this company have to be something I'm interested in?

Okay, so I didn't really go for the stock market class. They had a backup. How about real estate? That was another offer that I could pay to learn how to make money.

There were enjoyable and entertaining speakers, but even before it was done for the day, I felt like I had just encountered a bait and switch. Should I have been surprised? The conference cost was something like $50 per office, which included a free lunch (with motivational water), free DVDs from Zig Ziglar (I've yet to look at them) and a "Get Motivated Workbook" with numerous pictures of the seminar promoter with his picture with individuals like Zig Ziglar, Rudi Giuliani, George Bush (41), Naomi Judd and Mother Teresa. Bye the way, the workbook value was $20 (I don't know who would have paid that price for 25 articles and a place to take notes.) After the session by Phil Town on Investing, I felt like I had been sucked into a QVC audience. Then during Peter Lowe's (Seminar founder) session, I felt like I had wandered into an evangelistic service. I wonder how that Amish family attending the seminar felt? I wonder if they feel motivated?

Perhaps it's like going to Goodwill. There's a lot of stuff there I really don't care about, but there is probably something there I could use. I just need to look for it. At a minimum, there's the article "Health & Diet Myths You Need To Know" that I can read for 15 wellness points. (My employer gives me wellness points that I can cash in for money towards my Health Savings Account) Maybe that Amish guy is reading "How To Spice Up Your Marriage In Two Weeks". (I think this is going to require another post.)

Just in case you're worried when you look at the post date and wonder why I was taking time to do this on Mother's day rather than seeing that Barb had a good Mother's day, she is enjoying Mother's day and she's taking a well deserved nap at this moment.

2 Cheap

2007-05-12T20:34:00.000-04:00

My father, who will be turning 77 in a couple of weeks, is looking for a cane that would help give him a little stability for occasions when he might be on his feet for awhile. He alerted Barb and I to keep our eyes out for a wooden cane at garage sales.

I've been checking out Goodwill stores also for canes without much luck. That is until Thursday of this last week. I walked in and just as I had experienced in other stores, there were no canes in the front of this store either. (The front is where they would place them if they had them.) I decided to quickly peruse the store to see if anything else might catch my attention. As I passed the golf clubs, there was a wooden cane with a plastic putting head attached to the bottom, and a plastic golf ball attached further up with a card that said "Old golfers never die, they just loose their balls." With my ability to see more than what is there, I visually removed the plastic ball and card along with the plastic putting head that was attached with a screw. I then visualized a rubber cap on the end, something that I thought I might be able to pick up at a drug store, and voila! A wooden cane appeared before me.

I took a look at the price tag. Four dollars. Not bad. In fact a very good deal, but wait. Saturday was going to be 50% off. That means that the cane would be $2. An excellent deal. Dad would be proud. Dad would never guess how little I paid for it. It was Thursday and Saturday was only a few days away. No one would buy this in the short time that existed between then and Saturday.

Saturday I arrived at Goodwill at a little after 8:00 am. The parking lot was empty. As I drove by the door I saw that it didn't open until 9:00 am. It wasn't a tragedy. It gave me time to run by my office and pick up a screwdriver to remove the putting head. I meant to bring one from home, but forgot.

When I returned at about 8:40, there were a half a dozen cars now waiting for the store to open. I was still not worried. What would be the chance that one of these individuals was waiting to purchase a humorous birthday gift for a golfing buddy? I settled back and caught up on some periodicals related to the informational technology industry.

The time finally arrived. People had exited their cars and were standing outside when the doors open. I sauntered in and headed directly back to the golf clubs. All my eyes could see were metal shafts. What happened to the obvious wooden shaft that I has seen only two days ago? It wasn't here any more. It must have been moved to another part of the store. I wandered the store for the next little while to no avail. It was gone. I lost an excellent deal by being $2 too cheap.

Step 1

2007-04-23T23:18:00.000-04:00

We purchased a trailer bike that connects to an adult bike and allows a child to ride behind with his own seat, pedals and handlebars. I pried the 5 large metal staples off the box in order to open it. I looked inside, no instructions were easily visible. I pulled some parts out and found a plastic bag that was attached to the rear wheel with a plastic cable tie that had to be cut with a utility knife. I opened the bag, removed the "Owners Manual" (looked like instructions to me). The front page had three sections; Prior to Assembly, Important Safety Information, Tools Required for Assembly. On page 3 under Assembly And Operating Instructions was "Step 1 Open carton, remove contents..." Isn't it a little late for that? My recommendation for wording, "Now that you've opened the carton and removed the contents, let's start with Step 1 Compare contents with part list"?

Important Safety Information: This section is comprised of 16 "WARNING" items each ending with an exclamation point. Have you ever noticed that the more "Warnings" there are, the less apt you are to pay any attention to them?
Warning 3 - "This trailer bike is designed to attach to an adult bicycle with 26:, 27" or 700C wheels!" Wouldn't that have been good information to have on the outside of the box?
Warning 4 - "This trailer bike does not have a brake. Make sure the adult bike brakes function properly!" Really? I was hoping a child age 4-9! weighing less than 75 lbs (warning 5) would be able stop the both of us.
Warning 6 - "Make sure the child riding the trailer bike understands how to operate it correctly!" What's to operate? He can't steer it or brake it.
Warning 14 - "Do not ride barefoot!" I'll vouch for that one. I lost a big toenail as a kid when riding a bike barefoot and the toe got caught between the pedal and the curb as I rode from the street up over the curb to the sidewalk. ("Warning 9 - Do not ride over curbs!" I wish I would have known that as a kid. Like it would have made a difference.)

Tools Required For Assembly:
Adjustable wrench
6mm Allen wrench
I like it when the tools required are few, but you need more tools than what they tell you. Here's my list.
* Adjustable wrench
* 6mm Allen wrench
* Flat blade screw driver (to remove the staples that hold the box together. Of course, you already know this since you got the box open.)
* Pliers or second adjustable wrench (To hold the bolt head while you turn the nuts with the adjustable wrench.
* 2 Allen wrenches smaller than 6mm (To hold the other end of the swivel pin not mentioned in the Parts List or Instructions, but part of the assembly.)

Step 3 Attach the handlebar
3A Unscrew all two Allen-head screws....
3D ...and tighten all two screws securely. IMPORTANT NOTE: As you tighten the screws, alternate among all four to make sure they are tightened evenly.
(It was amazing! You should have seen it. One moment there were two screws and as I started tightening them...BAM! there were four. Just kidding. I wonder if that is what was supposed to happen?

If anyone out there has the second Allen wrench, of the size which I have no idea, I need it to secure the swivel pin (not mentioned in the Parts List or Instructions). We've violated "Warning 9 - Before riding, check that all parts are assembled correctly per the manufacturer's instructions!" Wait a minute, the swivel pin wasn't mentioned in the instructions. I haven't violated it.

Your body's here...

2007-04-22T22:50:00.000-04:00

Employee safety from individuals planning harm is a concern these days. Recommendations like "Find the closest office that locks and has a phone. Then call security." Sometimes it may be necessary to use a code phrase when calling security to signal them to come to your location. This is a fairly passive methodology.

Consider a methodology a little more active. Put guns in glass cases like fire extinguishers and locate them in offices at regular intervals. Now the instructions for employees in danger of physical harm are instructed to "Find the closest office that has a gun." When the situation is resolved, call security with the code phrase, "Your body is here and ready to be picked up."

(This post is intended solely for entertainment purposes and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the poster.)

How many (Fill in the blank) does it take to change a light bulb?

2007-04-15T17:07:00.000-04:00

With the recent Don Imus controversy, I'm afraid to insert any specific population group in the well known "How many...does it take to change a light bulb?" question. So, how's this as an alternate question?

Q: How many trips to the home improvement store does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Nineteen

Okay, so I did more than change a light bulb. I remodeled the bathroom. But I did change the light bulb!

Every weekend handyman knows that one trip to the hardware store results in another trip. As we know, something evil always lurks in a home improvement project. This one was no exception.

The man impetus for the remodeling was the counter top. We had decided to go with a counter with a molded sink. The old counter top came out with little problem. But we had discovered that they had feathered in up to about a half inch of drywall compound to make the wall come out to the edge of the counter. The wall bowed slightly. Well, the new counter top wouldn't fit in (or so I thought) with that drywall compound. So I removed the drywall compound. I still had trouble getting the counter top in. I had to remove part of the trim around the door to finally get the new counter top in. Now the back of the counter was too high for the mirror, so that had to be adjusted.

Next we replaced the light fixture only to find that there was just a hole in the wall and no junction box. Well, my new light fixture really needed a box to attach it self to. We started out thinking we would go with a "tumbled bronze" look and then changed to a "brushed nickel".

I removed the back of the toilet so that we could easily paint the wall behind it. While it was out, I removed the cabinet drawers to make it easier to install the counter top and paint. I should have remembered to put the drawers back in before putting the toilet back together. There wasn't enough space to put them back in with the toilet tank installed.

Well, nineteen trips, five stores, twenty one returned items later, the bathroom is finished.

Box it UPS

2007-04-14T11:42:00.000-04:00

Barb orders three items from Arbonne all on the same day. Can you guess which shipping container the three items arrived in? Did you guess the large box? Wrong. Try again. The envelope? You know better than that. The small box. Wrong again. Actually, each one came in it's own separate shipping container when all three could have been easily shipped in the small box. With plenty of room for bubble wrap. From left to right, each product corresponds to the shipping container it came in. No wonder this Arbonne stuff is expensive.

Excited pedometer

2007-04-13T17:31:00.000-04:00

My participation in a recent fitness challenge at work qualified me for a free pedometer. I'm not sure though if I should wear it. I'm afraid I might "arouse" it. This can happen if I "false" mounted it or possibly my "walking way". My walk isn't that strange is it? (And don't stare at me when I walk.) Maybe I just need to make sure I attach it securely to my "waistband orbelt". What is my "waistband orbelt"? I'm able to program a DVD recorder, but I'm not sure I can program this pedometer.
"Note: 1) Precise instrument it is and be sure operated and maintained properly." You'll notice also that all the measurements are in metric. I guess the Metric Conversion Act of 1975 is finally kicking in. I'm also thinking that the manufacturer of this pedometer is not proficient in English.

* (Click on image to enlarge it. Items in quotes can be found on Features: 3rd line, 2nd line. Note: 1.)